I'm just going on what my observations are. I've told my friend what he is doing to his health and he gets it, or says he does but he can't seem to connect his actions to reality. It's like he puts on a show to impress me with what he's learned but he gets to the store and comes back with total crap. He makes excuses trying to say he doesn't do it that often but the reality is totally opposite.
He prefers to go to a fast food venue to get food any time he gets hungry for something real and uses coupons. Well, then he's getting very poor value for his money and it's crap tasting food to begin with. Taco Bell, Arby's, etc. It's almost like he lives in a fog of make believe and I'm guessing that's what most people are doing.
Gonna be honest , if his life choices are this bad with his health. I don't think I'd be hanging around him for any other "insights" he might have. I mean, if he has a trade...really be thorough if you want his help on a project (in that area)
In my 30's I had a "plumber" friend, who I'd known since middle school and when I asked him to help me out on changing out my water heater to a tankless system he said "no problem" and came over having already been a 6 pack in and I had to ask him to not touch anything. I researched it and ended up doing it myself. I then saw his "work truck" and it was indicative of how he lived. He had an apt and so I never bothered ever going there...I'd always meet him in public or he'd come to my home & only after this instance did I re-evaluate what he brought to both myself and the group of friends I'd had for 20+ years. What he brought was drama, alcoholism, and need.
I haven't talked to him now in 10+ years and while I feel bad that his life is shit, it's he who put himself there. Me sticking around him would've only brought me to his level.
This reminds me of the plumber I worked with last year. He was so fat and disabled he couldn't carry his tools and had to have knee surgery to replace both knees but it's been delayed because of covid.
His teeth are all gone so he has to gum all his food down and he was told by the doctors that he'd have to lose weight to get his knees done. He did lose some weight but was still needing to shed another ten pounds.
He thinks he's a conservative but when the covid bullshit came he right away started wearing a mask, then would wear a plastic shield and end up having me go back into houses because he kept leaving it behind.
There was quite a bit of separation between his work quality and what he claimed his work quality was. He told me when he soldered copper pipes he'd only had about two leaks in his life but every job we went on he'd end up with a leak on the last joint or two and on ABS piping he'd sometimes forget to glue a joint. Once I almost freaked out because he was hooking up a sink with pipe only to one side. He totally forgot about the sink being a double kitchen sink. Early onset dementia? Imagine trying to squeeze in next to him in a small bathroom?
The worst was when one day his ass reeked so bad I almost vomited. Honestly, it was worse than opening a septic tank. That pissed me off. I mean, how fucking hard can it be to take a damned shower at least once or twice a week? Greasy hair, three day old clothes and always wearing sweat pants that have a hole in the ass and no underwear. He did call me up for Christmas and say he missed me. Yeh, I bet he did. Only other guys who would work with him at his wages were drunks and losers. One day I worked from 7 in the morning until 11 at night and partly because of his errors. On that job I was exhausted and he's up on the ladder doing work I could have and should have been allowed to do and he asks me to hand him his screwdriver. I did. Then he sets it down within reach and asks for it again. I handed it to him but now I'm puzzled. He sets it down and once more asks for it. This time I snapped, reminded him it's the third time he can't find a screwdriver I just put in his hand and he needs to keep track of his things. "Calm down, calm down!" was his response. Sure, I'm supposed to be patient like an angel.
Oh, and his truck? I'd try to organize it and maybe on Saturday he'd take one of his drunks with him and I'd come back on Monday to find it in shambles. Over and over. Every week. On one level I liked the guy but on other issues he and his other guys drove me nuts.
"he thinks he's a conservative"...yep. I know a lot of tradesmen who , when shit hits the fan will blindly support party over thinking.
Yikes, I think it's less likely a case of early dementia and just a substandard focus on quality. Quality of his hygiene , his work, and how his performance impacts others. I dread having to have an actual job done and going through guys like that to find someone who knows what they're doing , is willing to do it, and isn't going to charge 10x's the amount (because they know the market).
Plumbing has gotten worlds easier since PEX came into play. Not having to sweat, solder, and test multiple multiple connections turned most 5 hour jobs into an hour and a half (or less). Which was necessary due to so many plumbers being addicts, convicts, or low IQ clowns who lack pride in their work.
I'm not sure I could've made it an entire day with your friend. He probably has no idea why he's depressed (drunk) or in the position he's in either.
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