Girlfriends don't fart. Wives do.
Girlfriends don't fart. Wives do.
Backup (forgot to put it into context text):
Yes you should, for her sake.
Just so you’re aware, everybody farts. You fart, your mom farts, the hottest girl you know farts, hell even Dwayne Johnson farts, and he’s about as perfect as you can get.
The good news is, we’ve narrowed down your preferred qualities in a mate. Since you are looking for a relationship with a woman who won’t fart, I present to you your new girlfriend:
Her name is Stacey. You might want to buy her some clothes but that’s up to you. She’s ALWAYS happy, eats very little, and doesn’t have fingers. Also her boobs are fake but I wouldn’t let that bother you. Best part is, ZERO farts.
You might get some weird looks on dates but who the fuck cares! When someone gives you the side-eye, just put your arm around Stacey, look ‘em right in the eye and say: “At least my bed doesn’t stink.”
Mic drop.
Backup (forgot to put it into context text):
> Yes you should, for her sake.
>
Just so you’re aware, everybody farts. You fart, your mom farts, the hottest girl you know farts, hell even Dwayne Johnson farts, and he’s about as perfect as you can get.
>
The good news is, we’ve narrowed down your preferred qualities in a mate. Since you are looking for a relationship with a woman who won’t fart, I present to you your new girlfriend:
>
Her name is Stacey. You might want to buy her some clothes but that’s up to you. She’s ALWAYS happy, eats very little, and doesn’t have fingers. Also her boobs are fake but I wouldn’t let that bother you. Best part is, ZERO farts.
>
You might get some weird looks on dates but who the fuck cares! When someone gives you the side-eye, just put your arm around Stacey, look ‘em right in the eye and say: “At least my bed doesn’t stink.”
>
Mic drop.
This is why the dutch oven exists. If she farts you fart harder. Just be careful not to shit the bed.
This is why the dutch oven exists. If she farts you fart harder. Just be careful not to shit the bed.
If its strong enough to part your leg hair maybe you should consider it.
If its strong enough to part your leg hair maybe you should consider it.
That isn't funny enough for a mic drop.
That isn't funny enough for a mic drop.
Only if she stuck your head under the covers!
Alternate comment:
If you bite her tit she'll fart and fly out the window!
Only if she stuck your head under the covers!
Alternate comment:
If you bite her tit she'll fart and fly out the window!
(post is archived)