Was slow cooking a batch a few years back for a party and was told there would be more people coming than originally expected. So I said shit what to do? Looked in the pantry and found a Couple shitty (probably hormel) cans and said fuck it.

So as I'm adding the cans to the batch my roommate comes home and catches me.

But now the jokes on him because he was dumb enough to believe me when I told him I just thought that's how chili was made (with cans and a slow cooker). To this day he still makes fun of me for "not knowing how to make chili".

Beans in chili? So you’re making stew, not chili.

My father says that any man using beans in chili doesn't know beans about chili.

Regardless, I use them.

Note that you should be stirring any pot based recipe regularly, especially if your stovetop is in any way funky. I would recommend setting a timer to beep once every 2 minutes to keep you on track.

Cook corn. You may want more or less, I go 3 cobs. You can have either barbequed it earlier or boiled it, fuck off with frozen or canned. Once cooked, allow to cool in the fridge for a bit so you can cut off the kernels. Set aside in bowl with a mix of chili powder, white pepper, black pepper, allspice, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, and salt. Get a 22 quart pot, throw in some butter and set it to 3 on the stovetop. Two onions, one red, one white. Dice to the size you like, I tend to go fine. Toss them in. Grab garlic, at least 2 cloves, crush those fuckers and put them with the onions. Bell peppers, does not matter the colour, grab two. Ditch the seeds and tops, make small strips of them that can fit on the spoon. Toss them in. Grab 3 jalapeños, if you are a pussy, put on some gloves. Cut off top and bottom, core, and cut into rings. Throw in with onions and garlic. Grab 2 habaneros, remove top, remove seeds, mince. Throw in with mix. Throw in the corn. On the side grab a frying pan, cubed beef, pan fry in a mix of garlic and butter. At least a half pound. Once cooked, meat into pot, add next meat to pan. Keep the fat out of the pot as best you can, that fat is for cooking. Ground turkey, at least half a pound. Cook in fat mix and then put into pot, continue saving fat mix. Chorizo sausage, at least 3, slice and cook in pan. Some simply remove from casings and use as ground mix, that's cool too. Continue saving fat. Ground beef, at least half a pound. Cook in fat mix and then put into pot, throw away fat mix unless you have a side use you need it for, like putting into your next batch of whipped potatoes, where it goes excellently. In fact, make some fucking whipped potatoes using this fat for on the side of the chili. At least 10 tomatoes, or two big cans of tomatoes. I tend to use 3 cans or 15 tomatoes. You want the flesh, not the seeds, the seeds are bitter. I tend to crush them with a potato masher. Throw them sons of bitches into our pot. Can of black beans, can of kidney beans. Pour their contents, juice and all, into the chili. Cook at 1 for no less than 3 hours. Depending on moisture levels of what you are working with you may need to add some water at times to keep things flowing.

Just went out into the garden to pick peppers in celebration of your chili makin'. To that end, I just brought in over a dozen Reapers and chocolate ghosts, which would make un unbelievable pot of chili.

That said, I am not a Texas fag, and I do advocate for beans - kidney beans and pintos exactly, lest it be used for chilidogs or chiliburgers which I refuse beans for.

I would opt for a ground sirloin and ground pork; a few onions, a garlic bulb, hatch chilis, reapers, etc... OR white beans, chicken, hatch, serrano's, topped with fritos

You need chipotles.

This yankee right here don’t use no stank beans. Onions. Bell peppers. Garlic. Quality canned tomatoes, like sweet. Use the juice too. Chili powder. Cumin. Cinnamon. Cayenne pepper. Maybe crushed red pepper. Bay leaf. Dark beer if use beer. Oregano if you skip the cinnamon. Salt. Pepper. Other peppers depending on your taste.

Beans are trash. Skip them.

My best chili recipe is telling my woman to get her ass in the kitchen and make some damned chili

I use beans. It’s not true chili.

Couple pounds of browned ground beef. Few cans of pinto, red, and maybe black beans. Two or three jalapeños (young kids won’t touch spicy). Yellow onion and a couple yellow peppers sautéed. couple cans of crushed tomatoes, couple cans of petite diced tomatoes, and a can of tomato sauce. A dark beer. And spices are added as needed. Cumin, chili powder, garlic/garlic powder, pink salt, pepper, smoked paprika, maybe thyme.

Organic everything.

NO BEANS