Florida's native population has very little in the way of industry. There is some agriculture, but mostly more tropical people's do that. Instead, most of the economy is centered on caring for elderly retirees who have moved there from out of state (restaurants and medical). To wit, some counties experience a 50% turnover in population every 8 years or something like that. So imagine being part of an underemployed, parasitic underclass, but also being surrounded by seas of grumpy, new englander boomers and conmen and soulless planned communities that bleed into each other endlessly on a coastal north-south divided highway that is your only major thoroughfare. The culture is unfriendly and rather depressing as a result. St. Pete held (or holds) the title of suicide capitol of the country, owing, I think, to the many Floridians who make a pilgrimage there to jump off it's world-famous Sunshine Skyway bridge. Locals in certain areas even joke there is a curse that prevents them from leaving their home town (cross this or that bridge and you're stuck here, for example). Drug addictions seem to be rampant, and I've heard it was one of the worst states for Opioid pill mills at one time not too long ago. "Spice" or "Scooby snacks" or "Bath salts" -- artificial marijuana -- is also very popular. And I've heard some of that shit will really fuck with your brain.
One thing Florida does have going for it is excellent sunshine laws -- laws concerning what information must be made public. I've heard for that reason criminal case information from Florida is more easily accessible to news outlets than from some other states, which may contribute to how many crazy stories we hear about from there. But the underclass there, i.e. the natives, is also an insane and demoralized group of wretches.
Lived there myself for about twenty years. Familiar with all the things you mentioned, but many of the kindest and wisest people I know call Florida home. There is much to recommend about Florida, it's sites, it's history, it's unregimented social nature. Your use of the term, "underemployed, parasitic underclass" tells us more about you than about the fine folks I've known and trusted in that state. Yes, outsiders do move there in droves, but always in the expectation that Florida will be better than the many places they leave behind, and native Floridians do not despise, ridicule or marginalize the new arrivals. Floridians are very accepting, more so than the fine folks in most other places. So go ahead and send more of your own local born "underemployed, parasitic underclass" to Florida. Florida can handle having a few more of them, and hopefully, some of these immigrants will bless the state with endless wackiness. Floridians enjoy the bizarre FloridaMan entertainment as much as any.
Maybe I'm being too harsh, but I like to wax poetic every now and then.
Very well written. You must have gotten a proper education, unlike what we do 'down yonder'. Do continue, good man.
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