But I'm fat and self-conscious and live in a city so everywhere I go I will be seen being fat. Please help
Start lifting weights
Genius
Fat man is grey man. They'll never see you coming.
You don't need to go anywhere. I was a sedentary doomer before the pandemic, and since then I just used it as an excuse to not go anywhere and I only got fitter everyday.
Try some of those:
Jump rope, you can get real adult quality ones, with ball bearings, for under 30$. Try 5 minutes twice everyday, once you can do it without sweating, crank it up gradually to 15.
"Mini-stepper"/Mini-elliptical machines, ~100$ on amazon. Just make yourself sweat. https://www.amazon.com/Stamina-55-1602-Inmotion-Elliptical-Green/dp/B009N9PW1Q
Resistance bands. Full kits usually have handles and doop-stopper to mount them in any doorway. Under a 100$ you have something almost just as good as a 2000$ pulldown machine and it's a lot more portable and versatile. Have fun pulling in different direction, complement this with a weekly push-up session and you're gonna be fitter than 80% of the population.
Grip strength trainer. Grip strength is the most reliable indicator of overall health. Use this daily to know when you're dying.
Sadly I live in a second-floor apartment, so no jumping or loud stomping can happen. So definitely resistance exercises are doable, but cardio will have to wait I guess
Depending on how out of shape you are something as small as cutting out sugar/soda and walking every day can make a difference, enough to get the motivation wheel turning.
Stop making excuses, fatty. Mini-steppers are nearly silent, water rowers make a soothing water swooshing sound and you can step outside of your apartment to jump rope 5 minutes everyday without anyone ever seeing you.
take the wheels off your bike and make a wooden stand for 20 bucks.
In that scenario push ups, air squats, and crunches are your best friend. You can do a lot with the basics and cardio.
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