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[–] • 1 pt

I thought it was safer to keep it "in" the mattress so the bed bugs could defend it for you.

[–] • 0 pt

No, you just gotta shit on the mattress and be really dirty, so no logical human would even want to touch it, or think anything of value was beneath it.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

You forgot the lice make it more complicated than that.