Well having been in a unique situation where I lost something I did love. It still pains me today. I can say I love my wife more than anything. I gave up a piece of myself for it. I felt that whole under the boot thing and it was not pleasant I fought hard and almost lost everything. I'd tell you the story in person but I will never share that one on the Internet.
I would honestly prefer to have gone through a credit union I think they are better. but I am not eligible to be a member at the moment.
You want to know a big secret I will tell you. I was a socialist. Honestly I was a communist. I have since seen the error of those ways. Socialism I see the benefit and in the modern world some form of it is needed.
I see the need for people to take care of people outside of the currency system. My solution to that is god. and the values given by that. If I had to create a system for it it would probably at this point be a universal basic income but I don't think thats the best system that could exist. I think the market could probably eventually produce a better one. Perhaps I am just religious in my beliefs in a god and the market I'll accept that is possible but I don't see anyone else coming up with a better system for morality than that.
Try as I might, I can't believe in a deity. I've tried. I just can't.
And, as for love... Yeah, remember how it felt when you lost it? Remember how before that you didn't feel nearly the same - else you'd have spent even more time with them, doted on them more, paid attention more, snapped fewer times, etc...
It's only afterwards that (for me at least) love becomes certain.
And what a glorious feeling it is. Ah... It stokes the creativity. It gives you passion and drive. You feel the whole spectrum of emotions. You may even think it's over and you're going to die.
How vibrant and awesome that truly is.
It makes me write bad poetry, travel the country with a pumpkin, play music unlike any I've played before, dance with strangers until dawn, and get really intoxicated!
LOL
By the way, the first of the articles is up on the site.
It's Shake, Rattle and Roll!
I'm particularly happy with the results of the work. The site doesn't look that bad and actually has all the functionality I wanted. Well, I still have to deal with ads - but I really don't fucking feel like dealing with Google tonight. Fuck...
It took me like an hour to get Google to tell me the damned YouTube data API key. (To save on speed, I use special caching for the YouTube videos.) I was okay with that - that's just bad usability on their part.
What pissed me off was that it took like another hour to get my sitemap.xml into their system. Seriously? You're a search engine. Finding things is what you do! It's even called "SITEMAP.XML!!!" Find it! That's exactly what a search engine should do! But, no... No... It was a bunch of buttons and hidden somewhere that I'd never have expected to find it, nested several layers deep and a pain in the ass.
Go figure?
So, I'm not really ready to deal with Google tonight. (I started this last week - but the project has been in the works for a couple of months now.)
Well I don't think everyone can believe nor should they! I'm not one of those guys that believes if you don't believe you go to a hell. Long complicated storey.
As for remembering the pain of love, I do it hurts every day. I'm not sure it will ever stop. Its caused some problems in my marriage. I have fought hard against it. Over and Over and Over. A part of me died. I won't deny that. I almost did die. I would have chosen death if it had been an option.
Lol google is a pain, been living with that for 10+ years. They will make your life difficult any way they can. Anyway. I am off to bed. I have thought about some things tonight that bring quite a bit of pain. You have a good night Dr. Buddha. I wish you all the best.
Enjoy your rest!
Doctor's orders. ;-)
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