I should probably do that. However I am contemplating. So it will probably be a few hours before I actually sleep. Which really just means I am beating myself up if I had to be honest. This is something I need to do in order to get better. Its a sacred ritual. This job I have its a lot of money and its also a lot of me not being present for my kids. where is the line drawn. NO one knows. Its impossible to know. I often contemplate what it would be like it I was not around. I don't realistically consider these ideas. I Just wonder. I think many many things and most of them result in me thinking my current situation is the best for everyone. Even so. I am not smart enough or wise enough to raise these kids. Maybe someday I will figure it out.
I should probably do that. However I am contemplating. So it will probably be a few hours before I actually sleep. Which really just means I am beating myself up if I had to be honest. This is something I need to do in order to get better. Its a sacred ritual. This job I have its a lot of money and its also a lot of me not being present for my kids. where is the line drawn. NO one knows. Its impossible to know. I often contemplate what it would be like it I was not around. I don't realistically consider these ideas. I Just wonder. I think many many things and most of them result in me thinking my current situation is the best for everyone. Even so. I am not smart enough or wise enough to raise these kids. Maybe someday I will figure it out.
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