*one time I ball lightninged out of my anal hoop after being scruted by an inscrutable black man who was the manager of a new Popeyes family restaurant handing out free 6 piece hotwings out front on opening day*
In retrospect of the 40 minute toilet marathon roughly 8 hours later, I found Jesus.
CHRIST! IT'S THE JESUS!!
The only thing within reach was a newspaper that had a job section.
Jesus Lazarus Hernandez now cleans my property and does lawn maintenance for 10$ an hour. He is a good employee too.
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