We're the exact same way and read everything we could too lol
We were sure we left enough space for expansion and contraction and for dirt to fall through but by the 3rd rainstorm we realized we had not :( it was so discouraging and totally deflated us... We were SO PROUD of that deck lol!
What did you end up doing? I could see myself out there shaving 1/8" off one side of the board with a fucking jig saw lol.
We actually considered that! (But not with a jigsaw, but by running a circular saw adjusted to 1.5" depth along the lines so we could avoid unscrewing the whole thing, but after a few attempts it was clear that was going to take even longer than doing it the right way).
We ended up removing and respacing the two spots where the pooling was the worst, (thankfully near the two ends) but on the rest of the deck (and this is really embarrassing and not at all the correct way to deal with it!) I just got out the fattest drill bit I had and went down the line drilling a drainage hole between the studs every 2' or so making sure I didn't hit a joist underneath and then I flushed out the wood shavings so they wouldn't make the problem worse when they swelled up and I covered it with an indoor/outdoor rug lol.
Like I said, we weren't pros either, but anyone can definitely learn from our mistakes :)
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