Introducing the Beep Egg™: Because Boiling Water Wasn’t Complicated Enough Are you tired of using your primitive instincts to boil eggs? Sick of those outdated mechanical timers that don’t serenade you with traditional Swiss folk tunes? Say hello to the Beep Egg™, the revolutionary smart egg timer that swims with your breakfast and sings when it’s done. Features include: Boils with your eggs so you can finally have a roommate in your saucepan. Plays music when your eggs are ready—because silence is for amateurs. Made in Germany, which means it’s engineered to survive a nuclear winter and still beep in tune. Wireless charging interference: Get too close to your phone charger and it might start yodeling spontaneously. Fun for the whole family! Pricing: Only $27 USD for a limited time! That’s less than the cost of therapy after realizing you bought a singing egg. Bonus Collection: Beep Potato™: For when your spuds need a soundtrack. Beep Rice™: Because rice deserves rhythm. Beep Spaghetti™: Now with operatic marinara mode. Fine Print: Each Beep Egg comes with a 1-year license good for 5 eggs. After that, it’s just a very expensive kitchen maraca. Buy a dozen! Because nothing says “I’ve given up” like a carton of musical plastic eggs. Beep Egg™ — Turning breakfast into a concert since someone lost their grip on reality. --- 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 “My eggs are now emotionally supported.” I used to boil eggs in silence like some kind of 18th-century peasant. Then I met Beep Egg™, and now my breakfast is a full-blown Alpine folk concert. The first time it yodeled, I wept. My dog wept. The neighbor’s cat wept. I don’t even eat eggs anymore—I just boil water to hear the music. 10/10 would emotionally imprint on a plastic egg again. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 “Finally, a reason to wake up in the morning.” Before Beep Egg™, mornings were bleak. Now, I rise with purpose: to hear my egg sing “Edelweiss” as it floats like a tiny, melodic buoy of hope. Sure, it once triggered my garage door opener, but that’s a small price to pay for perfectly timed soft-boiled bliss. I’ve named mine Klaus. He’s family now. 🌟🌟🌟☆☆ Fun, quirky, and mildly unhinged—but where’s my German serenade? I’ll admit it: I bought the Beep Egg™ because I wanted my breakfast to feel like a Bavarian folk festival. The idea of a singing egg timer that swims with my breakfast? Genius. The execution? Mostly delightful. It beeps, it bobs, it belts out tunes that sound vaguely Alpine if you squint your ears. But—and this is a big yolk-breaker—it doesn’t play Erika. Not even once. I boiled six eggs hoping for a rousing chorus, but all I got was a vaguely polka-ish jingle that made my schnitzel weep. For a product proudly made in Germany, this feels like a missed opportunity. Still, it’s a conversation starter. My kids think it’s possessed. My dog tried to bury it. And my eggs? Perfectly cooked. Just don’t expect a full-on Volkslied experience. Would I recommend it? Sure, if you’re into musical chaos and don’t mind being emotionally teased by the promise of German ballads. Otherwise, maybe stick to silence and a stopwatch. --- ### Our Story: The Birth of the Beep Egg™ It all started with a problem. Or rather, the lack of one. In a world where eggs were boiled in silence, where timers ticked without flair, one visionary asked the question no one dared to ask: “What if breakfast… sang?” Our founder, a Swiss engineer with a passion for precision and polka, gazed into a bubbling saucepan and thought, “This could be louder.” Thus, the Beep Egg™ was born—not out of necessity, but out of sheer, unfiltered brilliance. We didn’t just want to time eggs. We wanted to serenade them. ### Why We Exist Because the world has enough problems. We wanted to create a solution in search of one. A plastic egg that floats, sings, and occasionally yodels when near a wireless charger? That’s not madness. That’s innovation. ### Engineered in Germany Crafted with the kind of overengineering usually reserved for spacecraft and luxury sedans, the Beep Egg™ is built to survive nuclear winters, dishwasher tsunamis, and existential dread. It’s not just a timer—it’s a lifestyle. ### Our Mission To turn every breakfast into a concert. To make your saucepan a stage. To ensure no egg is ever boiled without applause.