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212

(post is archived)

[–] 1 pt

You are not allowed to comment anymore until you produce a poem about Vlad the Impaler. It can even follow this formula:

"Here's to Mag, that dirty old hag That filthy, slimy slut. Green fungus grows between her toes And maggots crawl her butt."

or go with the old classical formula:

"May the bleeding pyles torment you. May corns grow upon your feet. May crabs the size of lobsters Crawl o'er your balls and eat. And when you're old and grey And a syphilitic wreck May you fall through your own asshole And break your fucking neck"

Either way, you owe us a vampire poem.

[–] 1 pt

So, you know the Vamputer, Or maybe you never met a Vamputer before, The Vamputer is a diabolical being,

It exists to take life from you. Slowly, It Speaks to you with an Eastern European Accent, Because Stereotypes must be Confirmed, Otherwise, writing would be bad.

Vamputer looks at you. And you look at Vamputer. Vamputer is Glowing Rectangle, Vamputer has power of Hypnosis,

You stare at glowing rectangle many hours of the day. You find glowing rectangle interesting. Glowing rectangle provide knowledge, from far away places. RectANGLE GLOW MORE,

RECTangle asks you for more time, YOU HAVE FRIENDS, in the glowing rectangle, PEOPLE YOU KNOW,

wE tALK tO eACH oTHER,

aND We oNLY kNOW aNOTHEr, tHROUgH A sCREEN.

[–] 1 pt

This is your opus. This is greatness.