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story format featuring Anon:

There you are, wandering the streets, trying to find a nice place to get a hot meal where you wont get flamed for saying niggerfaggot. All you wanna do is shit on jews and share spicy memes from the stack of cards you carry around in your back pocket.

You try going to go to a fast food joint and notice they didnt add salt to your fries. When you look over your shoulder you see the chef is black and is giving you angry furtive glances. You see him spit into someone elses dish. With disgust, you call him out but he points to a sign a sign that says a SWAT team will come kill your family and friends and imprison you if you try to imply people of color are capable of doing anything wrong. Frustrated, you storm out and carry on with your life.

Later you find another restaurant that looks promising, says anonymous freespeech. Hell yeah! But when you enter 4Chan, the bouncer asks where your mask is "No shoes, no mask, no service". Failing to provide one he politely offers you one. It was the twilight zone in there, some people were not wearing shirts because it wasnt a requirement. There were many rooms you could go into with different themes, but one thing is in common with everyone, they all wore the same mask. You check out the different rooms and flip through the bulletin board near the front and nod, pleased with the amount of people here who hate pedophiles, but it still doesnt feel like home. You keep bumping into the same anonymous people, not sure if youve talked to them before. With a sigh, you take off, handing the bouncer your mask.

Its about to rain now, and the sun is nearly gone. It really is twilight outside now. You're about to head back to your car when you see a little hole in the wall, "Poal, Sports Bar And Grill". The door opens suddenly and you see two bouncers throw a wriggling, wailing 4Chan-masked-man outside with the door slammed shut behind him. Before they do, they snatch his mask and kick him several times. He stands up promptly and starts screaming in yiddish that he would like a refund. He looks disgusting, his nose was so large it touched his lower lip. Poal opens a small slotted window and chucks two shekels at him yelling "we dont want your money here anyways!" the jew rubs his hands together greedily snatching up the shekels from the ground like a scurrying rat and flees into the night. You gasp gently, is this the place you've been searching for? The place you've seen in your dreams? You had to know. You get overexcited and fling the door open which gets everyone attention. Everyone is looking at you. "Hi." is all you manage. Everyone shrugs or rolls their eyes and gets back to what they were doing. You notice a large piece of art on the wall that says "Freespeech". Lets see how true that is. Lord knows he's heard that one before.

You hear a tapping on the mic, and see a small line of people waiting for their turn at the microphone at the back of the bar. You kinda ignore what they have to say and try to go order a meal at the bar in the middle. AOU is behind the counter and is doing maintenance with his back to you, seeming to not notice you there. This goes on for a while before you say "Excuse me sir, can i order a meal please?" Without skipping a beat or stopping what he is doing to look at you, he points to a sign that says "No shoes, No shirt, No introduction, No service." That's kinda annoying but whatever. You look around for the Intro Forum and notice the huge sign pointing down at where the line of people used to be saying "Introductions". You got this, you know what you came here to do. With no line, you head strait to the mic.

3 people look at you, two people from the crowd sitting at their own tables alone, and the maintenance man AOU who pulls out a stopwatch, clicking it when you finally say something. "Uh, hello everyone, I'm Anon." One of the three gives you a thumbs up, the other looks bored. "Huhem, I mean, uh, Hello nigger faggots. I can say that here right? This is a free speech platfrom after all, I dont see in the rules where thats not allowed." No one moves to stop him, but the insult gets the attention of more people at different tables. One Arian from the crowd yells from the back "Who the HELL are you calling a nigger faggot?!" there's a literal nigger faggot farther back lurking in the shadows glowing slightly who stifles a laugh. Another guy from the crowd yells a question at him from far away, "Do you reject the talmud and all it's teachings?"

Boy, you didnt realize just how many people were there. It's like a Tardis in here. You answer "Of course! I reject the talmud and all its teachings. Jews are pedophiles, I hate them!" lots of nodding heads and people going back to what they were doing. AOU asks "How would you feel if you hadnt ate breakfast this morning?" You were getting tired of these questions. People were treating you like a low IQ nigger, you knew you were not. You come up with a sassy retort that barely answers the question. One of the rare ladies noticed your frustration so she walks up to you and whispers in your ear "No one here likes being called a niggerfaggot until you get to know them." What the absolute fuck. How dare she, -if she really is a she- this is a free speech platform! you've worked too hard to find one, you're not going to get roasted by a bunch of random scrubs. Wait, what if theyre actually Moderators? Most of the people interacting with him seem to have been here a very long time. Oh, this pisses you off, your obviously not a jew. You can see AOU chuckle, clicking the stopwatch while turning to get back to work. You say to her, "You see that guy over there? And those two? Do moderaters just get to do and say whatever they want around here and bully people? What's up with captain ButtHurt over there? Looks like he's been here 7 years!"

The lady notices your growing frustration and says "We haze all newbies to help filter out spineless cucks and niggerfaggots. The person you just insulted is the owner of this establishment, not a simple mod. Everyone is encouraged to haze the newbies. You're a new comer, and you're getting off on the wrong foot by calling everyone a niggerfaggot."

"Look at you, getting butthurt over a little free speech! This place is ridiculous!"

The lady gives him a thumbs up and a wry smile "Glad you dont get butthurt easily. Must be us. well, you can get a hot meal now if you want, niggerfaggot."

Not sure if you want to stay, you step down from the mic

(edit: spacing the paragraphs more)

story format featuring Anon: There you are, wandering the streets, trying to find a nice place to get a hot meal where you wont get flamed for saying niggerfaggot. All you wanna do is shit on jews and share spicy memes from the stack of cards you carry around in your back pocket. You try going to go to a fast food joint and notice they didnt add salt to your fries. When you look over your shoulder you see the chef is black and is giving you angry furtive glances. You see him spit into someone elses dish. With disgust, you call him out but he points to a sign a sign that says a SWAT team will come kill your family and friends and imprison you if you try to imply people of color are capable of doing anything wrong. Frustrated, you storm out and carry on with your life. Later you find another restaurant that looks promising, says anonymous freespeech. Hell yeah! But when you enter 4Chan, the bouncer asks where your mask is "No shoes, no mask, no service". Failing to provide one he politely offers you one. It was the twilight zone in there, some people were not wearing shirts because it wasnt a requirement. There were many rooms you could go into with different themes, but one thing is in common with everyone, they all wore the same mask. You check out the different rooms and flip through the bulletin board near the front and nod, pleased with the amount of people here who hate pedophiles, but it still doesnt feel like home. You keep bumping into the same anonymous people, not sure if youve talked to them before. With a sigh, you take off, handing the bouncer your mask. Its about to rain now, and the sun is nearly gone. It really is twilight outside now. You're about to head back to your car when you see a little hole in the wall, "Poal, Sports Bar And Grill". The door opens suddenly and you see two bouncers throw a wriggling, wailing 4Chan-masked-man outside with the door slammed shut behind him. Before they do, they snatch his mask and kick him several times. He stands up promptly and starts screaming in yiddish that he would like a refund. He looks disgusting, his nose was so large it touched his lower lip. Poal opens a small slotted window and chucks two shekels at him yelling "we dont want your money here anyways!" the jew rubs his hands together greedily snatching up the shekels from the ground like a scurrying rat and flees into the night. You gasp gently, is this the place you've been searching for? The place you've seen in your dreams? You had to know. You get overexcited and fling the door open which gets everyone attention. Everyone is looking at you. "Hi." is all you manage. Everyone shrugs or rolls their eyes and gets back to what they were doing. You notice a large piece of art on the wall that says "Freespeech". Lets see how true that is. Lord knows he's heard that one before. You hear a tapping on the mic, and see a small line of people waiting for their turn at the microphone at the back of the bar. You kinda ignore what they have to say and try to go order a meal at the bar in the middle. AOU is behind the counter and is doing maintenance with his back to you, seeming to not notice you there. This goes on for a while before you say "Excuse me sir, can i order a meal please?" Without skipping a beat or stopping what he is doing to look at you, he points to a sign that says "No shoes, No shirt, No introduction, No service." That's kinda annoying but whatever. You look around for the Intro Forum and notice the huge sign pointing down at where the line of people used to be saying "Introductions". You got this, you know what you came here to do. With no line, you head strait to the mic. 3 people look at you, two people from the crowd sitting at their own tables alone, and the maintenance man AOU who pulls out a stopwatch, clicking it when you finally say something. "Uh, hello everyone, I'm Anon." One of the three gives you a thumbs up, the other looks bored. "Huhem, I mean, uh, Hello nigger faggots. I can say that here right? This is a free speech platfrom after all, I dont see in the rules where thats not allowed." No one moves to stop him, but the insult gets the attention of more people at different tables. One Arian from the crowd yells from the back "Who the HELL are you calling a nigger faggot?!" there's a literal nigger faggot farther back lurking in the shadows glowing slightly who stifles a laugh. Another guy from the crowd yells a question at him from far away, "Do you reject the talmud and all it's teachings?" Boy, you didnt realize just how many people were there. It's like a Tardis in here. You answer "Of course! I reject the talmud and all its teachings. Jews are pedophiles, I hate them!" lots of nodding heads and people going back to what they were doing. AOU asks "How would you feel if you hadnt ate breakfast this morning?" You were getting tired of these questions. People were treating you like a low IQ nigger, you knew you were not. You come up with a sassy retort that barely answers the question. One of the rare ladies noticed your frustration so she walks up to you and whispers in your ear "No one here likes being called a niggerfaggot until you get to know them." What the absolute fuck. How dare she, -if she really is a she- this is a free speech platform! you've worked too hard to find one, you're not going to get roasted by a bunch of random scrubs. Wait, what if theyre actually Moderators? Most of the people interacting with him seem to have been here a very long time. Oh, this pisses you off, your obviously not a jew. You can see AOU chuckle, clicking the stopwatch while turning to get back to work. You say to her, "You see that guy over there? And those two? Do moderaters just get to do and say whatever they want around here and bully people? What's up with captain ButtHurt over there? Looks like he's been here 7 years!" The lady notices your growing frustration and says "We haze all newbies to help filter out spineless cucks and niggerfaggots. The person you just insulted is the owner of this establishment, not a simple mod. Everyone is encouraged to haze the newbies. You're a new comer, and you're getting off on the wrong foot by calling everyone a niggerfaggot." "Look at you, getting butthurt over a little free speech! This place is ridiculous!" The lady gives him a thumbs up and a wry smile "Glad you dont get butthurt easily. Must be us. well, you can get a hot meal now if you want, niggerfaggot." Not sure if you want to stay, you step down from the mic (edit: spacing the paragraphs more)

(post is archived)

[–] 1 pt (edited )

that about sums it up

edit to add:

but usually the bad ones get banned when they start vocalizing too much. Glad to see not everyone makes it through the Introductions.