Why do you seek forgiveness? Do you feel convicted for something you did? That IS God's presence! Be thankful you have that feeling. Do you remeber living in sin and depravity? How that felt to be a slave to it and maybe not feel any guilt at all? That was the old you living in the flesh. It feels great until it begins destroying you and you realize it wasnt the way to live. The way to live is already spelled out for you. Dont expect to hear a disembodied voice but ask to see signs of the spirit and keep your eyes open. Ask for one today. Dont expect to never slip up but recognize when you do and turn back. I believe in absolute evil and satan. We see his work everyday. If that exists then the opposite must also exist; absolute good, God. This grows and grows. Its not a mature relationship off the bat. It starts with fear and becomes something you want to do. The things you used to be and do disgust you. You can still be tempted but the difference is you resist as much as possible with His help and repent when you fail, which you will. Read James and Romans and the gospels. Watch some John Macarthur. Keep going