Just wait on God. He will make himself known. I've been there too. God is not a liar. God says knock and the door shall be opened. Sometimes you have to walk through the doors. I won't lie to you, once you become a believer the road is tough. You are faced with many battles. Those battles are won through God and it is the most joyous feeling. God will make himself known to you. God Bless!

The book of John

25 the other disciples, therefore, said to him, We have seen the Lord;' and he said to them,If I may not see in his hands the mark of the nails, and may put my finger to the mark of the nails, and may put my hand to his side, I will not believe.' 26 And after eight days, again were his disciples within, and Thomas with them; Jesus cometh, the doors having been shut, and he stood in the midst, and said, Peace to you!' 27 then he saith to Thomas,Bring thy finger hither, and see my hands, and bring thy hand, and put [it] to my side, and become not unbelieving, but believing.' 28 And Thomas answered and said to him, My Lord and my God;' 29 Jesus saith to him,Because thou hast seen me, Thomas, thou hast believed; happy those not having seen, and having believed.'

I like to pray because it feels good and because I always think that my prayers are being said at the same time as somebody else. And that communal intention has power as well. Somebody told me once that God doesn't need your prayers because God already knows. that makes complete sense.

I imagine you feel 'nothing' because you're looking for it - something tangible. The presence you speak of is subjective; faith, is subjective.

In any case, you have to be able to forgive yourself (for whatever, that's on you) - but it must be something that you learn from; it must be sincere. If you cannot do this, the point is moot.

Why do you seek forgiveness? Do you feel convicted for something you did? That IS God's presence! Be thankful you have that feeling. Do you remeber living in sin and depravity? How that felt to be a slave to it and maybe not feel any guilt at all? That was the old you living in the flesh. It feels great until it begins destroying you and you realize it wasnt the way to live. The way to live is already spelled out for you. Dont expect to hear a disembodied voice but ask to see signs of the spirit and keep your eyes open. Ask for one today.

Dont expect to never slip up but recognize when you do and turn back. I believe in absolute evil and satan. We see his work everyday. If that exists then the opposite must also exist; absolute good, God.

This grows and grows. Its not a mature relationship off the bat. It starts with fear and becomes something you want to do. The things you used to be and do disgust you. You can still be tempted but the difference is you resist as much as possible with His help and repent when you fail, which you will. Read James and Romans and the gospels. Watch some John Macarthur. Keep going

I liken my relationship with god like my relationship with my dad

He may love (loved) me but he doesnt (didnt) like me much. (My old man died when i was 19, more than half my life ago)

He will keep me alive and give me what i need but he isnt going to give me everything i want when i want it.

Ive staved off homelessness twice, lost my home, lost my family, but no matter what ive somehow always had a roof over my head. I asked for a rest a couple of years ago, in my head i wanted a nice long holiday without having to worry about it, he said you can have a rest but youre not getting it for nothing, and i ended up jobless for months, but ultimately still got my rest. Now i acknowledge him as my saviour i have people around me who have kept me going with a couple of hundred quid here and there and finally picked up a good job nearby to the home ive been living in for the last year and a half in a beautiful part of the world well away from the evil i was brought up around.

When i was finally at the point i wanted to kick my two worst habits, there was no pissing about, they just stopped and i havent looked back. I havent had a month of the sticky icky since i was 17, and yet ive gone a month without it, on face value because i couldnt afford it being out of work, but also because i felt like i might as well just stop. Just in time for a job i wanted, where ive been told im going to be getting drug tested in another months time before i get offered a full time position.

I came to realise he kept me out of major trouble because he needed me to be in place for certain other people and situations that have happened in my life, long enough for me to recognise he was there all along.

I stepped into a massive chasm that was in front of me, and walked straight over to the other side.

From what i gather from you man youre not a bad dude, hes walking with you always, keep strong, keep praying, and recognise you wont necessarily get what you want when you want it, but he will give you what you need when you need it. You dont end up a good person walking hand in hand with sin, but pushing through it makes you stronger than steel.

God bless.

What are your daily Bible study habits?