Oh man, this one! So many memories! But one that really stands out is the office Christmas party several years back. Man, was I disgruntled back then, but I ALWAYS attended events like this, to eat my fill and get drunk on the company dime. I was a real drunk then. I mean, I still am, but I was REALLY a drunk then; martini lunch days type drunk, and it felt like I NEEDED it. You probably know those kind of phases... I'm glad that they're as temporary as they are. Well, a bit of background: we had this super fruity office secretary at the time. He'd make fancy party invitations and send them out the the whole office. He sent like five of them to me, so I saved the first or second one, not noticing that every one of them was an edit, because he kept fucking up details. The party was to be on a big huge boat that would fit the whole office [several hundred people at that point; we were smaller then], and motor on out of the marina on a scenic little coastal cruise for the duration of the party. I knew about TWO people in the whole company at that point, as my boss quit and left me in charge, then they made me lay off my guys, then they laid off most everybody else in the division aside from me and two other guys... two other guys who I barely knew, but at least I knew them. Well, I get to the marina, [not MY marina, so I only kind of know the place, and not this part of it. Okay, it's Marina Del Rey, which is a weird place: both swank and seedily disgusting at the same time, depending on where and when you are] and this party boat outfit has three big boats. I went to the one on the invitation, and I printed it out for good measure and brought it with me. I get to the berth specified, and show the guy at the gate, so he ushers me in quite swankly. Man, what a nice party! I grab a plate of tasty chicken and vegetables and order something gin based from the bartender [a gin and tonic, no doubt], and head up to the topmost deck to watch for the two guys I know to arrive, texting them that I was there and that it looked like a pretty nice party. They're all, "meh, yeah, whatever, we're on our way." Fuck, this G&T is strong! I finish my little dinner, and consider having more, because it's a rather nice buffet, so I do. I ate my fill of whatever, I forget, and order a good few more drinks, eventually switching back to beers just to not get too out of hand, and mostly stay on that top deck, where nearly nobody else is, but gradually some other people do show up; VPs and stuff, so it's no surprise I don't know them and they don't know me. They were like, "who are you? I thought I knew everybody?" And I'm all, "I'm the tech guy who does all the web server stuff, and network stuff related... you know, web and infrastructure - that's my [new then] title! I'm MANAGER of WEB and INFRASTRUCTURE!" So they're like, "Oh, cool! I thought I remembered a different guy who handled that, but we know how there's been all these changes", and we all get along famously. I'm still watching out for what served as 'friends' at the place at that point, and they still had not shown up, and they had not arrived from what I'd seen, and I was watching. Well, the boat started pulling out, so I texted them, telling them they missed the boat. They're like, "Lol, yeah, omw", so I was like, "whatever", and continued socializing with these people I din't know, which is all of the company, since my division got mainly axed, but the company needed their websites and I came with them, so whatever... I don't know anyody, but these people from the other divisions I never see are cool. I was such a hermit in my little office. I miss that office. Now I am in a shitty cubicle. Well, now I work from home or the boat, like right now... so. Yeah. Well, the DJ put on this entire Danzig album, and a bunch of pretty hot chicks pretty much insisted I dance with them. I did look kind of cool, in a dorky colorful suit and goofy tie guy kind of way, and chicks apparently dig me, so what the hell, I just won't tell my wife about this... [but we were separated at that point, so whatever - I did tell her, just to make her more jealous]. We danced in a goofy drunken Christmas party kind of way to this exact song, which just seemed SO GOOFY for a Christmas party, but I was really getting into getting to know my coworkers I'd never met before. Good times. Sheesh, I go on sometimes, but I'm in peak going on condition thanks to the one decent beer I just had and all these shitty ones that followed it up... So my friends text me and ask me where the fuck I am. I go back topdeck and tell them to find me there. 15 minutes later, they're all, "LOL. For reals, where are you?!" So there I am, surrounded by people I don't know, and start to wonder if I'm on the wrong boat somehow. Then they announce the CEO is about to give a talk, so we go to the main deck. He was well spoken, intelligent, and had a great sense of humour. I even heckled him a little, which went over well. Odd how he didn't look familiar. I'm pretty sure I'm on the wrong boat. Our CEO is an idiot, so this can't be the right boat. I was on the wrong boat. They were very nice. I half expected to get thrown overboard, but on the other hand, maybe I could switch to THIS company [which was an accounting firm from downtown LA - meh, no worse a commute than I already had, if I took the train instead of driving]. [they never called me back, but this mistake was legendary at our company, and hopefully moreso with them, because I was in top drunken form. I like to think.... Um, so that's the goofy tale of when I accidentally went to the wrong Christmas party on the wrong boat. I'm pretty sure I had a way better time than I would have on our own boat, even if ours had a live band. They didn't have DANZIG! Or hot chicks who wanted to dance with me! Just kidding, there ended up being at least one hot chick I met from our art department who was totally willing, but she married some famous guy's nephew and I missed that boat too, and then got back with the ex because I am an idiot. The end.