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I give my father privacy like I have given everyone privacy. I have never had interest in “snooping.”

Because of dad letting his phone getting taken over by random apps on his Android phone popping up ads everywhere, I had to sit down with him and address the risk of his loneliness.

2 months ago, I was making his dinner and could see him on some type of dating platform. Dad is 67. He is decling across the board, and is definitely bait for teams of sharks who manipulate and rob men.

I could see he was looking at profiles of much younger women. He was zooming in on their chests. I didn’t say anything, but realized he was setting himself up as a target.

Tonight, his phone was receiving notifications from dating groups on Facebook. He has published personal information, and has started communications with scammers half his age (my age) to fill emptiness.

I sat down with him to explain, to try to explain, that he is a target. Initially, he was defensive. He was receiving messages from much younger women.

This was one of my biggest concerns. He was open to receiving my warnings. What that leads to is yet to be determined.

I’m faced with wanting to monitor his conversations when I’m someone who respects privacy.

I recorded our conversation. I’m very worried he will get tricked. I explained how the hustle works. He had already installed and started using WhatsApp to communicate with one of them.

That’s all I can share right now.

I give my father privacy like I have given everyone privacy. I have never had interest in “snooping.” Because of dad letting his phone getting taken over by random apps on his Android phone popping up ads everywhere, I had to sit down with him and address the risk of his loneliness. 2 months ago, I was making his dinner and could see him on some type of dating platform. Dad is 67. He is decling across the board, and is definitely bait for teams of sharks who manipulate and rob men. I could see he was looking at profiles of much younger women. He was zooming in on their chests. I didn’t say anything, but realized he was setting himself up as a target. Tonight, his phone was receiving notifications from dating groups on Facebook. He has published personal information, and has started communications with scammers half his age (my age) to fill emptiness. I sat down with him to explain, to try to explain, that he is a target. Initially, he was defensive. He was receiving messages from much younger women. This was one of my biggest concerns. He was open to receiving my warnings. What that leads to is yet to be determined. I’m faced with wanting to monitor his conversations when I’m someone who respects privacy. I recorded our conversation. I’m very worried he will get tricked. I explained how the hustle works. He had already installed and started using WhatsApp to communicate with one of them. That’s all I can share right now.

(post is archived)

[–] • 6 pts

If ever comes a time when you have to have help and hire a caretaker watch them like a hawk. One bilked my grandfather out of sixty grand. Hospice nurses too.

[–] • 1 pt

I’ve been trying to figure out how to have some kind of mediator to help intervene. I think there’s a better, more technical term for what we need, but I can’t think of it right now.

He respects the brother of his deceased wife. He’s local and would probably understand. I just need to call him.

[–] • 0 pt

Tough situation. Considering his mental state you can never be sure you got through to him be it you, his BIL or someone else. I’m no IT guy, but are there any programs or blocks you can put on his phone/pc?

Predatory people suck.You never know who they’re gonna be either. Before I was able to move three doors down from my mom when she started get’n goofy a neighbor got her to pay for her new roof. I guess I got lucky in that using her PC was too complicated and frustrating for her at some point and she just kind of forgot about it. That was before the smartphone. So yeah are there any kind of child lock type of apps you can put on his phone?

[–] • 1 pt

Right now I can only keep my eyes open. And he thinks he is sneaky with some of the stuff he dies but he’s such a terrible liar.

It really is true that we can revert back to being children.

[–] • 3 pts

This is always a problem with older people even before the tech we have today. I have had to help a not so close family member with a scammer recently and it is hard to get them to understand how it works.

Maybe if you find some videos on the scam, what to look for etc.. Even show him some of the modern AI stuff with faking your own voice or his and faking some video. It is hard for some people to come to grasp with how much has changed in the world but the only way to protect yourself is to be educated about it.

[–] • 1 pt

Great comment. There’s a YouTube channel covering this perfectly. The channel is something like “Catfished.” Full of videos trying to help men being suckered.

I need to find the right time.

[–] • 2 pts

My father is all caught up in this kind of crap too. He's blown his computer up a few times and I've awkwardly helped him try to figure out a few things while I'm staring at microsoft edge search bar 'fuck asian girls now' . He's got a pop-up of 'fuck MILFs in your area' in the lower right corner that I finally figured out how to shut off. He's lonely as fuck and now that my mother's dead tried to get back into dating, but he's so out of shape that I don't think women really want anything to do with him. I hope that he won't start throwing money at the problem because all that's going to do is bring out the vipers and gold digging old ladies.

[–] • 1 pt

This hits home and I’m sorry for the struggle but I relate to and appreciate your efforts. In the right state, he’d appreciate it too.

[–] • 1 pt

I don't know how to help him. I tried to give him some ideas but I think he just wants companionship and I think at this stage in his life it might be tricky. I just don't want him to get taken advantage of because that's what happens to a lot of lonely older men.

[–] • 1 pt

I have a plan to be able to talk to you and every other good White man here. When you sign up to take care of a loved one, it doesn’t take long to realize how difficult it can be. I’m very passionate about this. Stay strong. Stay tuned.

[–] • 1 pt

You know it’s a scam when they want you to install WhatsApp or telegram

[–] • 1 pt

Sounds like it's time to get him a dumb phone. He does not need a smart phone.

[–] • 0 pt

This was a step with my mother for something different. “An old bull is still a bull” is just so true. Dad is in a China shop of manipulation and stress. It’s so hard to stop him.

[–] • 1 pt
[+] [deleted] • 0 pt