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221

Feeling overwhelmed. Trying so hard not to show my frustration in front of Dad. Don’t want him to feel worse.

Dad has broken phones 3 times this year. He just washed his phone an hour ago. No idea I come up with helps.

His immediate response is to buy a new one which doesn’t make sense. He has insurance on them. He can’t just get a new phone because he got tricked into leasing this phone for years or he has to pay the balance that’s still at like $500.

He had a backup phone….but destroyed it. Now one of my phones that is tied into my daily work is his backup phone. And he’s damaged that one which I don’t carry insurance on because I don’t lose or break my phones.

Again, I have to reset that phone and put him on it while I go through the insurance process. And setting him up at least two more times is such a challenge because even though I beg him to not recover/change his passwords when he can’t figure something out, he does it anyway.

Just venting. It’s just the same shit over and over and over again. There seems no amount of attention I can keep on him to stop the chaos.

Feeling overwhelmed. Trying so hard not to show my frustration in front of Dad. Don’t want him to feel worse. Dad has broken phones 3 times this year. He just washed his phone an hour ago. No idea I come up with helps. His immediate response is to buy a new one which doesn’t make sense. He has insurance on them. He can’t just get a new phone because he got tricked into leasing this phone for years or he has to pay the balance that’s still at like $500. He had a backup phone….but destroyed it. Now one of my phones that is tied into my daily work is his backup phone. And he’s damaged that one which I don’t carry insurance on because I don’t lose or break my phones. Again, I have to reset that phone and put him on it while I go through the insurance process. And setting him up at least two more times is such a challenge because even though I beg him to not recover/change his passwords when he can’t figure something out, he does it anyway. Just venting. It’s just the same shit over and over and over again. There seems no amount of attention I can keep on him to stop the chaos.

(post is archived)

[–] • 3 pts

Take your dad to Walmart and put him on a Straight Talk plan (Verizon Network) . $35/month and get him a $100 Android phone. If and when he breaks that one, it's an easy replacement. Cheap, very reliable alternative.

[–] • 0 pt

No getting out of his current phone without paying that balance. Out of my control. But on the horizon is prepaid using Verizon or t-mobile towers. You’re spot on with that.

[–] • 1 pt

I'm not familiar, but could you just buy some cheaper, used, older phones? (Just to have on hand for such an event.) I'd make sure to get cases for them, sure, but he washed his phone? Could you manage better by installing and locking him down with the parental controls? (Again, idk much about this, just spitballing.) Early onset dementia? I really hope not. Really, really, hope not.

[–] • 2 pts

Thanks for the reply. I only now found out his backup is trashed. He used it as his game phone.

Without staying next to him at all times, all this stuff is just going to keep happening.

He was already diagnosed 8 years ago. His memory has been bad for decades after encephalitis.

I’ve outfitted his phones with otter box pro defenders. The thick hard plastic belt clip is an addition to make the phone bulky to avoid what just happened in the washing machine.

He’d removed that part and I didn’t know.

Yes. I’ll be ordering a cheap unlocked phone as a future backup that I’ll hold until he needs it. It just needs to be able to have gps navigation for driving which he needs and yeah, him driving is another issue.

He’s a big bull of a man who is as sensitive as anyone who faces his challenges.

Believe me, I think 20 steps ahead every single day. But I can’t afford to be next to him 24/7. It’s kinda like taking your eyes off a child sometimes. And I feel awful even typing that. But I’ve got his back like 23/7.

We are a team and I won’t let up. It’s just hard. No one really to talk to about it because even with many siblings, they hide from this until they need money.

[–] • 1 pt

I understand what you're going through, having done that with my mother. Have you looked into respite care and elder daycare? Respite care is a service (should be state funded) that will visit with your dad so you can get away and relax from care giving. You stated your dad drives still. I sincerely hope he stays safe and will recognize when he is unable to drive.

Looking at apps targeted for seniors all have "in app purchases", absolute rubbish and predatory.

Can you put his sim card in an inexpensive phone and just pay like $20/mo for like cricket or those monthly services? We did that for mom and saved a ton of money.

Glad you're sharing here, definitely a way to de-stress a little bit. Don't hesitate to reach out to the community, churches, social services etc.

Good luck man.

[–] • 0 pt

Thank you!

And he’s aware of taking things away and downgrading things. He will fight. Even if we have what seems like a rational and meaningful talk about things, anything he agreed to changes in an instant.

[–] • 0 pt

Wow.

Admirable, was just the first word that popped into my head.

May you have the strength.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Disabled people get free phones from govt through Tmobile carrrier in USA. Maybe his memory is poor enough to be disabled?

[–] • 0 pt

True. There are some programs out there. It’s really less about the monetary expense. It’s the tax on me for stuff like this constantly happening even though I try to come up with ways to prevent it. Today was a killer because I had just finished work for the day and was relieved. I was looking forward to going to this gym out here where I’m staying for a couple months. Then bam! “Have you seen my phone?”

That question usually means it’s been destroyed in some ridiculous way. And of course it was.

The problem with where he is at is not unlike where he was 15 years ago. He’s like on autopilot. He goes from A to B and has no idea all the errors he made along the way.

[–] • 0 pt

Bro just buy a pho e unlocked and go patriot network. Quit being poor.

[–] • 0 pt

Yeah. Anything I shared was about being poor. And only a faggot would say something like that anyway. Be well.

[–] • 0 pt

Just as CanIPlay2 says, you can shop for "refurbished" and old phones for less than what you are paying for.

It's not a full solution, but it will cut down your dept you are accumulating

[–] • 0 pt

It’s to be considered. Hectic time right now.

Having a house built that we can cohabitate in. Coverage is unknown even after looking at coverage maps. That’s 2 months plus any delays away.

Currently high up on a mountain in a beautiful, very fancy place. Temporary, short-term rental as we wait. Just got here Sunday after a hellish move from my house and his house that saw him, of course, get sick and my worthless brother barely helping.

I hate feeling so negative. My liver doesn’t like it either.

[–] • 0 pt

Hey. Sorry if mentioning how nice this place is sounded stuck up. I meant to say this is way nicer than real life and I’d like to enjoy it.