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Phones are huge. Dad can’t hold them. Drops and destroyed. Phones are too big. Even Otterbox can’t protect them.

Lost. Dropped. Soaked. Run over.

The worst is having to set up the new or repaired phone because all the passwords are changed.

I beg him to contact me when he can’t log in to something but he winds up changing passwords that he will never remember.

The time spent trying to set up phones for him is irrational.

But this is what happens when you age and can’t think about the logical way to handle things.

I’m not mad. I’m just frustrated.

Phones are huge. Dad can’t hold them. Drops and destroyed. Phones are too big. Even Otterbox can’t protect them. Lost. Dropped. Soaked. Run over. The worst is having to set up the new or repaired phone because all the passwords are changed. I beg him to contact me when he can’t log in to something but he winds up changing passwords that he will never remember. The time spent trying to set up phones for him is irrational. But this is what happens when you age and can’t think about the logical way to handle things. I’m not mad. I’m just frustrated.

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[–] 2 pts

Get him a landline

[–] 2 pts

That doesn’t always work either. My mom would hold the phone upside down to where things got worse from there. The mouse on her PC, upside down. Like OP says, logic goes out the window. Just about the time you get something figured out or solved, they change up on you in a whole new direction. It is frustratin’, but you love ‘em so it is what it is.

[–] 1 pt

Yup. I do love him. I just hate the decline.

[–] 1 pt

I know brother, hang in there though. Venting here is good.

[–] 1 pt

There must be a serious cognitive issue if they can't use a landline. Older people grew up with them.

[–] 2 pts

Would only help for emergencies when he’s home.

He uses his smartphone for everything like the rest of us. It’s necessary. But it’s stressful for the reasons I already vented about.

[–] 2 pts

I bought a house three doors down from my parents when they started having issues. Every night before leaving making sure the phones were accessible and fully charged. One night the ol’ man slip’d in the bathroom, fall’n in between the tub and toilet and get’n stuck there. Sometime around 4am there’s a pounding on my door. It’s the police, he walks me out to where I can see into the neighbors yard and asks if that’s my mother. She’s crying, shivering and soaking wet in her nightgown with a policeman helping her get to her feet as the neighbor’s sprinklers sprayed them. Evidently she tried to call me, but couldn’t figure out how so decided to come get me and somewhere along the way fell and began to crawl. I had gone over the phone with them many times. There was speed dial, 911, my number and a neighbors number all posted next every to phone. Poor ol’ mom couldn’t figure it out. That was just so fuk’d up all the way around.

There was lots of couch sleeping for me after that until I got some help. It’s impossible to do all on your own at some point. Eventually they’re up in the middle of the night baking a shoe in the oven sort of shit. It’s probably the toughest duty you’ll ever pull. It’s one helluva rollercoaster of emotions and frustrating as hell as you’re finding, but you gotta stay strong in their time of need as hard it is at times.

I feel for you bro, vent when you have to and always remember they loved you.

[–] 1 pt

Damn. That is a rough story but completely relatable. My dad has his good days and good weeks, then he has his really scary bad days. His cognitive abilities have been on the decline for 15 years, maybe more. It's compounded now with his body going downhill a bit. The worst is the balance. His balance is so bad.

Yeah, I vent on here. I don't have a circle of friends or confidants like I did a decade or more ago. I can't really talk to my siblings about this because they like to pretend he doesn't exist unless they need money. People here have been really nice to me. When I went missing for a few months after a very exhausting. When my dad was in the hospital, I finally logged back in and had some really nice messages in my inbox.

Anyway, it's a day at a time. Some are better than others.

[–] 1 pt

I recommend setting up a password manager. One password, Dashlane, lastpass etc.

[–] 0 pt

Could help of seem less integration. He also needs to not get locked out of it and do a password reset.

[–] 0 pt

I have become phone, destroyer of worlds

[–] 1 pt