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So I had a decision to make on Sunday morning around 5AM. Dad was lethargic and barely communicating. Sadly, this isn’t abnormal but it was bad enough that I had to get him to the hospital. I’m not “young” but I’m big and strong. The first decision after knowing I had to bring him to the emergency room was do I call for an ambulance or try to carry him to the truck. My dad is up in age but a big man. Let’s estimate 6’2” and 210 lbs. I need to tear down his steps and build a ramp. He has steps going down from his front porch which are bad enough as a fall or trip hazard, but worse because he was too weak to be any help. I was too afraid of falling with him, so I called an ambulance.

What sucks about these decisions was me worrying about every decision I made and how much it would cost. I decided to call an ambulance. Two men, younger than me, had me lift him from the rolling chair I had him in then place him into their chair that had handles to carry him down the steps in. They asked me to help carry him down the steps. What the fuck? They might as well have been women.

Fast forward to the room in the emergency section then being admitted for the day then overnight on an upper floor. X-rays. Ct scans. Blood. Urine. All the tests. Nearly no answers.

My dad has these (weekly-ish) recurring episodes of having no energy or strength at all. I was praying I’d get some kind of solid answer. Nope. I was hoping after going over all his medicines with multiple nurses and doctors maybe if the tests didn’t tell anything, they’d catch issues with his meds.

What they found is while the X-rays didn’t show it, the ct scans told he’s had “walking pneumonia.” They ordered 2, 5-day antibiotics and kicked us loose. I made a list of questions for the doctors. My observations. My worries. Etc.

They basically just said he has an appointment with his GP in a week and to ask him.

I’m not saying all these people didn’t have good bedside manner. They did. I’m just frustrated with the general experience. How are they taking in all this money and it’s acceptable to have no answers. How can he be bullshitting with me at 10PM then can’t talk or walk at 5AM and all this money can’t buy an answer or a fucking hunch or something?

On the way out, a fucking nurse hands me a bag with a prescription inhaler and tells us when and how long to take it. I was ready to take that with us then head to the pharmacy to pick up the antibiotics. As we start heading to the elevators, another nurse stops us and asks the woman to check the name on that bag with the inhaler. It was for someone else. WHAT. THE. FUCK? They shrug it off like it’s just an oopsie.

My Dad is insured and stuff but some of this will still come out of pocket. I can’t justify it. I’m so pissed. We are where we were two days ago.

I’m just venting because Poal feels like home and I’m so tired but so anxious and can’t sleep.

Fuck.

So I had a decision to make on Sunday morning around 5AM. Dad was lethargic and barely communicating. Sadly, this isn’t abnormal but it was bad enough that I had to get him to the hospital. I’m not “young” but I’m big and strong. The first decision after knowing I had to bring him to the emergency room was do I call for an ambulance or try to carry him to the truck. My dad is up in age but a big man. Let’s estimate 6’2” and 210 lbs. I need to tear down his steps and build a ramp. He has steps going down from his front porch which are bad enough as a fall or trip hazard, but worse because he was too weak to be any help. I was too afraid of falling with him, so I called an ambulance. What sucks about these decisions was me worrying about every decision I made and how much it would cost. I decided to call an ambulance. Two men, younger than me, had me lift him from the rolling chair I had him in then place him into their chair that had handles to carry him down the steps in. They asked me to help carry him down the steps. What the fuck? They might as well have been women. Fast forward to the room in the emergency section then being admitted for the day then overnight on an upper floor. X-rays. Ct scans. Blood. Urine. All the tests. Nearly no answers. My dad has these (weekly-ish) recurring episodes of having no energy or strength at all. I was praying I’d get some kind of solid answer. Nope. I was hoping after going over all his medicines with multiple nurses and doctors maybe if the tests didn’t tell anything, they’d catch issues with his meds. What they found is while the X-rays didn’t show it, the ct scans told he’s had “walking pneumonia.” They ordered 2, 5-day antibiotics and kicked us loose. I made a list of questions for the doctors. My observations. My worries. Etc. They basically just said he has an appointment with his GP in a week and to ask him. I’m not saying all these people didn’t have good bedside manner. They did. I’m just frustrated with the general experience. How are they taking in all this money and it’s acceptable to have no answers. How can he be bullshitting with me at 10PM then can’t talk or walk at 5AM and all this money can’t buy an answer or a fucking hunch or something? On the way out, a fucking nurse hands me a bag with a prescription inhaler and tells us when and how long to take it. I was ready to take that with us then head to the pharmacy to pick up the antibiotics. As we start heading to the elevators, another nurse stops us and asks the woman to check the name on that bag with the inhaler. It was for someone else. WHAT. THE. FUCK? They shrug it off like it’s just an oopsie. My Dad is insured and stuff but some of this will still come out of pocket. I can’t justify it. I’m so pissed. We are where we were two days ago. I’m just venting because Poal feels like home and I’m so tired but so anxious and can’t sleep. Fuck.

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Well look no further, it's depression, depression's a bitch it really is a vastly underestimated condition, many aren't even aware that they have it

Nothing is important when you're depressed, you don't understand why you can't give a fuck about anything, it's horrible, and you spend your life floating in the nothing like that, it can last for decades like that

The worst part is when people around you keep telling you "you can do it, you just have to try, if you really want to succeed you will succeed, it's a matter of will etc..." that sort of motivational discourse... And of course you fail to motivate yourself precisely because you're depressed, and you see yourself as more of a loser than anybody else as a result, because you aren't even capable of just that... It's vicious cycle, everything is a mountain, even the most basic task, and you're tired to walk...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood)

Depression is a mental state of low mood and aversion to activity,[3] which affects more than 280 million people of all ages (about 3.5% of the global population).[4] Classified medically as a mental and behavioral disorder,[5] the experience of depression affects a person's thoughts, behavior, motivation, feelings, and sense of well-being.[6] The core symptom of depression is said to be anhedonia, which refers to loss of interest or a loss of feeling of pleasure in certain activities that usually bring joy to people.[7] Depressed mood is a symptom of some mood disorders such as major depressive disorder or dysthymia;[8] it is a normal temporary reaction to life events, such as the loss of a loved one; and it is also a symptom of some physical diseases and a side effect of some drugs and medical treatments. It may feature sadness, difficulty in thinking and concentration and a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping. People experiencing depression may have feelings of dejection, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. It can either be short term or long term.

See? That's exactly that

And quite frankly, idk what to tell you, I hate the very concept of medication against depression, because well, you know psychiatrists and their pills today... Especially in the US...

But yeah technically, it's a chemical imbalance in your brain, depression is a chemically induced illusion if you will, you see life as absolute shit no matter how you look at it, it's a chemically induced "permanent" state of helplessness, that's depression, and it sucks like a billion dysons plus 1.

So ultimately yes "mood pills" work... And what happens when you stop or forget to take them? .... Yeah...

....

Alternative? https://youtu.be/rYuuhGzu1og?t=13 this can be one, being permanently surrounded by benevolent people, team work, doing stuffs with your hands together in a non piss contest way (it's important he's depressed...), yeah that is good. It can be a DIY club (manual work), a religious club even... The form may vary but the idea remains the same, behing constantly surrounded by good energy people and we do stuffs together

But even the inscription to the club is a mountain when you're depressed, even just getting out of the fucking bed... But once you're there, it's cool, you follow the general movement

Now another alternative is to have a good laugh with him on a daily basis

That helps, against depression

Believe me I know...