Welcome • User Guide
ToS • Privacy • Canary
Donate • Bugs • License

©2025 Poal.co

Dad and I just had a talk about his dad and how he suffered with colon cancer but didn’t tell anyone until they cut him open then stitched him back up because it was too late. My paw-paw told my dad he didn’t want to burden him any further. Not 10 hours ago I told my dad we have to have better communication than that and anything serious doesn’t bother me. It would bother me if he hid concerns and made them worse.

Well, apparently he was feeling weak and dizzy some time after midnight then couldn’t get off the toilet. It wasn’t until 5AM he called me. I could barely understand him.

Now we are at the hospital. They’re running all kinds of tests. Hopefully they don’t kill him.

Anyway, Dad is having a bad day. I am too. I’d hate for him to go through all this alone. I pray that I’m here for him no matter how long he needs me.

Dad and I just had a talk about his dad and how he suffered with colon cancer but didn’t tell anyone until they cut him open then stitched him back up because it was too late. My paw-paw told my dad he didn’t want to burden him any further. Not 10 hours ago I told my dad we have to have better communication than that and anything serious doesn’t bother me. It would bother me if he hid concerns and made them worse. Well, apparently he was feeling weak and dizzy some time after midnight then couldn’t get off the toilet. It wasn’t until 5AM he called me. I could barely understand him. Now we are at the hospital. They’re running all kinds of tests. Hopefully they don’t kill him. Anyway, Dad is having a bad day. I am too. I’d hate for him to go through all this alone. I pray that I’m here for him no matter how long he needs me.

(post is archived)

You are currently inside a comment thread.
Click here to see all the comments (19).
[–] • 2 pts

Prayers out to you and your dad. Stay strong friend, it’s a roller coaster of emotions. Pay attention to his medical care providers, they will scare the shit out of you with their stupidity. At least that’s what I found in caretaking for my mom, stepdad and an aunt.

Your 5am phone call sounds familiar. Mom and stepdad had both had brain cancer. I bought a house four doors down from them to more easily be able to care for them. One night the ol’ man fell in between the shower and toilet and couldn’t get up. My mom, pretty out of it on meds tried calling me for help. Thought we had the speed dial thing worked out, but evidently not so. Turns out she was holding the cordless phone upside down. Out of a sound sleep I hear this loud banging on my front door. As I raced down the hallway I could see the blue and red lights flashing. Opening the door a cop asks me if my parents lived down the street? Yes. Step out sir, is that your mother, pointing into the neighbors yard. My heart sank as I saw my poor ol’ ma on her hands and knees crying out for me. Worse yet, she was soaking wet from the sprinklers still going off on her. I looked at that cop like he was the biggest asshole on earth. Fuk’n really, you couldn’t get her to the dry sidewalk!?

So yeah, stay strong and God Bless you for honoring your ol’ Dad.

[–] • 2 pts

Damn. So sorry but thank you for sharing. I don’t know what they’re going to tell me today, but I worry big time about him not being able to call me. I see him in the evenings for a few hours every night but not much in the day because I have to earn a living.

I was thinking about some kind of life alert setup that calls me before calling any kind of emergency services. I have to research what’s out there. When he’s having a good day, he can totally take care of himself but there are bad days when he can fall or his memory is really bad.

[–] • 0 pt

It sucks, none of us are really prepared for such things as important as these. At first I was able to work and care for them, but after a while it became clear I could not work and take care of them as the disease and cure began to take larger tolls on their bodies and minds. Fortunately my mortgage and bills were very modest at the time so made a deal with them in a moment of lucidity that they pay my bills and buy the food I could be there for them full time. Three years I did this, sleeping on the couch. Doctors appointments, shopping, prescription renewals. Bathing, laundry, meals, house maintenance and the like. I won’t lie, it was exhausting, both physically and mentally. I did get breaks here and there when friends of theirs would offer to watch over them. The ol’ man went first after a little over a year so that lightened the load. The night before he passed he asked for a cig and a shot of whiskey. I went and got them for him. Afterwards he reached his hand out to mine, squeezing it he said, “you did good son, thank you”. You can’t believe how much that meant to me. It made it all worth it.

Yes, I think some kind of alert system would be a good thing to have in place if he ever has to be left alone. I’m with you brother, it’s heartbreaking duty. Ask for help whenever possible, doing it all alone is tough man. I know.

Ironically I find myself in need of care, but have no one for day to day struggles. An old girlfriend has been of great help when she can and I’ve an old buddy that drops by once a week to make sure I have what I need. While it’s very kind of them, it’s more comfortable to have a family member’s help because much of it is so personal of nature. Your help will be greatly appreciated by your dad. Sometimes it’s hard, but be patient and be kind. Pain and big pharma’s poisonous meds can make a person mean sometimes so don’t let it bother you.

PS: This reply was meant to go out earlier, but a friend unexpectedly dropped by to check in on me. My heart goes out to you and I hope you and your dad can make the best of this situation for each other. God Bless and Godspeed my friend.

[–] • 1 pt

Right on. I appreciated reading that. Thanks a bunch and I hope you’ll be well and comfortable.