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Your 16 year old son finds himself a "girlfriend", do you go out of your way to make sure that they're always supervised, never alone, etc. Or do you let it slip that you're going to be going on an overnight outing with his mother, and the house will be free for the night. He can have friends over as long as they're responsible and clean up after themselves.

On the one hand, sex is a very risky activity, and teenagers can be very untrustworthy, and frankly stupid. But if he gets the experience over with while still at school, it won't be such a big deal later, and the more sexual partners he has, the more comfortable he will be in his dating life later. He won't mary the first girl that lets him see her naked, and can think objectively about a partner, rather than just with his dick.

If he doesn't have that opportunity early, he may turn out to be an "incel", virgin, weird, etc. Socially inept or highly anxious around women... I think we all know what happens to young men that, despite trying never get laid.

On the other hand, knocking up a girl at 16 is pretty much life over, and no girl who can sneak out without their parents kicking up a huge stink is marriage material. I mean, I wouldn't let my daughter go spend a night at her boyfriend's place.

Also, if it gets too serious, it can interfere with his education. I've seen first hand how my school mate absolutely flunked his last year because he was spending too much time with (and worrying about) his girlfriend who dumped him soon after graduation. Got a job doing data entry, lives with a disabled single mother, they live on her welfare and child support payments, it's not pretty.

Your 16 year old son finds himself a "girlfriend", do you go out of your way to make sure that they're always supervised, never alone, etc. Or do you let it slip that you're going to be going on an overnight outing with his mother, and the house will be free for the night. He can have friends over as long as they're responsible and clean up after themselves. On the one hand, sex is a very risky activity, and teenagers can be very untrustworthy, and frankly stupid. But if he gets the experience over with while still at school, it won't be such a big deal later, and the more sexual partners he has, the more comfortable he will be in his dating life later. He won't mary the first girl that lets him see her naked, and can think objectively about a partner, rather than just with his dick. If he doesn't have that opportunity early, he may turn out to be an "incel", virgin, weird, etc. Socially inept or highly anxious around women... I think we all know what happens to young men that, despite trying never get laid. On the other hand, knocking up a girl at 16 is pretty much life over, and no girl who can sneak out without their parents kicking up a huge stink is marriage material. I mean, I wouldn't let my daughter go spend a night at her boyfriend's place. Also, if it gets too serious, it can interfere with his education. I've seen first hand how my school mate absolutely flunked his last year because he was spending too much time with (and worrying about) his girlfriend who dumped him soon after graduation. Got a job doing data entry, lives with a disabled single mother, they live on her welfare and child support payments, it's not pretty.

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[–] • 0 pt

You're conflating the two arguments.

I'm asking for: multiple sex partners for men does effect men negatively in marriage too.

Not: living together increases divorce risk

As far as I'm aware, there are NO studies that show an increased risk for divorce for men with more premarital sexual partners. Infact, here is proof of the opposite: http://before-i-do.org/, expand the section titled "appendix", emphasis mine.

Moderation Analyses Gender. Only two of the findings were moderated significantly by gender, controlling for demographic variables. Having a child or children from prior relationship was negatively associated with marital quality for women (b = -1.72), not for men (b = .055). Additionally, more sexual partners before marriage were negatively associated with marital quality for women (b = -.061), not for men (b = -.004).

Unless you can provide a source proving the opposite, or provide a credible argument against. I think you may have to retract your original claim that more sexual partners for men increases divorce risk.

[–] • 0 pt

Your source shows it right there,

> Men and women who only slept with their (future) spouse prior to marriage reported higher marital quality than those who had other sexual partners as well.>>

I know I saw it somewhere although I'm sure it will take me a while to find and honestly I don't have a lot of spare time but when I do find it I'll post it. Pair bonding is effected by the amount of partners you have more so in women but to a lesser degree in men as well. If you have a hard time pair bonding or that would increase your risk of divorce.

[–] • 0 pt

Hang on a moment. That doesn't refute my point. That sentence says that men and women who have only had sex with each other (n count = 1), have higher marriage quality than men and women that have had multiple sexual partners prior to marriage (n count = 2+).

Fuck it, lets get some notation going on, this is getting confusing.

MQ=marriage quality, m=man's sexual partners other than wife before marriage, f=female's sexual partners other than husband before marriage

What that sentence proves:

MQ(m=0,f=0) > MQ(m>0,f>0)

What I am asserting, and you are trying to disprove:

MQ(m=0,f=0) > MQ(m>0,f=0)

Or in other words. With all else being equal, men having more sexual partners before marriage reduces their marriage quality (and increases risk of divorce). IE a man with 4 sexual partners before marriage to a virgin woman will have a worse marriage than if he were a virgin. And a man with 6 sexual partners before marriage to a woman with 2 sexual partners will have a worse marriage than a man with 6 sexual partners to a woman with 2 sexual partners.

My source puts the correlation at -0.004, which is basically insignificant.

If you studied it in college, you probably know more about the subject than I who have had no formal education on the subject, I'm just going by the results of this particular study (that may be flawed). Again, this is a foundational belief I have, that many other opinions are built off of. Thus it is very important to me, and the reason why I've dedicated so much time to the subject: if I'm wrong about one of my foundational beliefs, that needs to fixed ASAP.

I very much appreciate the time you've spent thus far, and eagerly anticipate your response.

[–] • 0 pt

The only thing I studied for a paper was living with your partner before marridge increases your risk of divorce. So that leads me to the conclusion that "test driving the car" might not be that beneficial.

I can't find that information on sex partners before marriage effecting divorce rates, I didn't try too hard either- too much else on my time. So maybe I was wrong. I still do belive even without quantifiable data that it's better for women and men to wait till marriage.