I had this happen recently. Turns out he died suddenly.... global warming got him.
I had this happen recently. Turns out he died suddenly.... global warming got him.
the fuck dude
the fuck dude
Wipe for fingerprints and then post a question like this to the internet to throw off suspicion.
Wipe for fingerprints and then post a question like this to the internet to throw off suspicion.
Reasonably you give three genuine knocks and then consider the door closed. This of course doesn't mean if a good friend doesn't respond to three random casual calls or texts over time, but three deep efforts to get in touch with them. If they don't respond after three they either won't or can't. One anyone can miss. Two, benefit of the doubt stuff happens. If they miss three they're not there, either figuratively or literally. Unless you're in some situation where it is your obligation to take ensure they are well, there is really nothing you can do at that point. If you've got a mutual contact you can reach out to and see what's up, that's your only recourse. Other than that time to just assume they're not in your life anymore and hope they're well. Sad situation, but such is life.
Reasonably you give three genuine knocks and then consider the door closed. This of course doesn't mean if a good friend doesn't respond to three random casual calls or texts over time, but three deep efforts to get in touch with them. If they don't respond after three they either won't or can't. One anyone can miss. Two, benefit of the doubt stuff happens. If they miss three they're not there, either figuratively or literally. Unless you're in some situation where it is your obligation to take ensure they are well, there is really nothing you can do at that point. If you've got a mutual contact you can reach out to and see what's up, that's your only recourse. Other than that time to just assume they're not in your life anymore and hope they're well. Sad situation, but such is life.
Try to message him again around Thanksgiving.
Try to message him again around Thanksgiving.
Or he could just be in a bad place in his life and doesn't want you to see it?
Or he could just be in a bad place in his life and doesn't want you to see it?
Possible! I have an old friend where it's essentially the opposite, he slowly leaned into cubicle life, got a long term good gf, moved far out for work and got a decent place on the atlantic. I get the sense that he's just prioritizing building a family and likely has most of his time spent with work, work friends, and home life.
I don't mind it, but at a certain point I felt like I was the only one of us to check in every 6-8 months, and so just left it on the table for a while. Since then he hasn't reached back out to me, and I figure he's just in a different phase of life overall~
Possible! I have an old friend where it's essentially the opposite, he slowly leaned into cubicle life, got a long term good gf, moved far out for work and got a decent place on the atlantic. I get the sense that he's just prioritizing building a family and likely has most of his time spent with work, work friends, and home life.
I don't mind it, but at a certain point I felt like I was the only one of us to check in every 6-8 months, and so just left it on the table for a while. Since then he hasn't reached back out to me, and I figure he's just in a different phase of life overall~
One of my oldest friends ended our friendship because he was a broke loser and always asked for money. I simply ignored those requests but would make friendly small talk. One day he sent me a long, rambling text about how we weren't friends anymore because I, "didn't care about him".
Whatever. He showed his true colors and I'm glad. Asshole.
One of my oldest friends ended our friendship because he was a broke loser and always asked for money. I simply ignored those requests but would make friendly small talk. One day he sent me a long, rambling text about how we weren't friends anymore because I, "didn't care about him".
Whatever. He showed his true colors and I'm glad. Asshole.
Hah. Yeah, had something similar. Old friend drove halfway across the country with nearly no cash to his name, wanted to stay and asked if he could live with me, very pushy. So we took a walk or two and I found out he was at least 10-15k in debt, no job or training, and a previous history (that I knew about) of terrible spending / saving habits, etc.
I'm like, no dude, you cannot just show up and insist that you live with me? See it from my perspective, where you do not have things in order financially, and you drove out from a place where you DID have a place with family, could've easily gotten a job lined up, and worked your way to at least some modest savings (considering low rent with family).
I explained it pretty calmly, just tried to lay out what I saw as "the obvious." He wasn't going through some sort of life-crisis or anything, he completely put all the stress on himself to randomly move and relocate without any prior planning or thinking. I'm not gonna have that dumped on my doorstep, let alone my place for an indefinite amount of time.
Well, same as you, he blocked me a week or two after those conversations. And, same as you, one of my oldest friends! Good riddance I guess? I didn't really expect that kind of reaction at first, but in hindsight with the overall immaturity of his behavior, it's not surprising.
I suppose he saw it as "c'mon man we've known eachother for so long!" And my angle was more like "Yeah, so you should know this is pretty shoddy to try and lump on me here. I can help you navigate the area / jobs and stuff, but truly you can't imagine I'd lay down the welcome mat showing up like this, with no money, financial burden, and no plan at all"
Some people seemingly live that "main character" lifestyle too hard. This is the kinda guy who if you asked him what he wanted to be when he gets older, he'd only talk about being a rockstar and wanted fame above all else really despite doing nothing to truly pursue that. That mentality was there even up until he blocked me, the "I deserve this fancy car I can't afford, because I need that rockstar vibe!" kinda thing. Insanity
Hah. Yeah, had something similar. Old friend drove halfway across the country with nearly no cash to his name, wanted to stay and asked if he could live with me, very pushy. So we took a walk or two and I found out he was at least 10-15k in debt, no job or training, and a previous history (that I knew about) of terrible spending / saving habits, etc.
I'm like, no dude, you cannot just show up and insist that you live with me? See it from my perspective, where you do not have things in order financially, and you drove out from a place where you DID have a place with family, could've easily gotten a job lined up, and worked your way to at least some modest savings (considering low rent with family).
I explained it pretty calmly, just tried to lay out what I saw as "the obvious." He wasn't going through some sort of life-crisis or anything, he completely put all the stress on himself to randomly move and relocate without any prior planning or thinking. I'm not gonna have that dumped on my doorstep, let alone my place for an indefinite amount of time.
Well, same as you, he blocked me a week or two after those conversations. And, same as you, one of my oldest friends! Good riddance I guess? I didn't really expect that kind of reaction at first, but in hindsight with the overall immaturity of his behavior, it's not surprising.
I suppose he saw it as "c'mon man we've known eachother for so long!" And my angle was more like "Yeah, so you should know this is pretty shoddy to try and lump on me here. I can help you navigate the area / jobs and stuff, but truly you can't imagine I'd lay down the welcome mat showing up like this, with no money, financial burden, and no plan at all"
Some people seemingly live that "main character" lifestyle too hard. This is the kinda guy who if you asked him what he wanted to be when he gets older, he'd only talk about being a rockstar and wanted fame above all else really despite doing nothing to truly pursue that. That mentality was there even up until he blocked me, the "I deserve this fancy car I can't afford, because I need that rockstar vibe!" kinda thing. Insanity
How responsive were they? I've got close mates, best mates. Who message me once a year but if we see each other in person we act as if we've been hanging out every day
How responsive were they? I've got close mates, best mates. Who message me once a year but if we see each other in person we act as if we've been hanging out every day
Ive got some friends I might not see or talk to for five years but if we were to get together it would be like we were together yesterday
Ive got some friends I might not see or talk to for five years but if we were to get together it would be like we were together yesterday
I had my friend Dave do that to me.... turns out he suffered a massive heart attack on a hiking trail and it took 2 weeks to find his body. I've had several ghost me , I saw them again a month later at their funeral. When my friends ghost, they really ghost.
I had my friend Dave do that to me.... turns out he suffered a massive heart attack on a hiking trail and it took 2 weeks to find his body. I've had several ghost me , I saw them again a month later at their funeral. When my friends ghost, they really ghost.
My best buddy in high school went into the navy right after graduation. I managed to catch up with him after he did his tour. He had become born again, and didn't want to have any connections with people who weren't Godly enough for him. I hadn't been saved at the time, so we separated, and I never was able to connect with him again.
Sam, if you're out there, miss you buddy
My best buddy in high school went into the navy right after graduation. I managed to catch up with him after he did his tour. He had become born again, and didn't want to have any connections with people who weren't Godly enough for him. I hadn't been saved at the time, so we separated, and I never was able to connect with him again.
Sam, if you're out there, miss you buddy
Keep trying
Keep trying
He didn't wish me a happy birthday, two weeks later I wished him a happy birthday, and he didn't respond... Oh well... Not a huge loss. We were buds in high school but he moved to a weed friendly state and became a pothead who was too good for his old small town. He hasn't reached out in a few years and neither have I
He didn't wish me a happy birthday, two weeks later I wished him a happy birthday, and he didn't respond... Oh well... Not a huge loss. We were buds in high school but he moved to a weed friendly state and became a pothead who was too good for his old small town. He hasn't reached out in a few years and neither have I
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