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So my father died a month ago. It was suicide by cop. He was a Vietnam vet. He had dementia. We used to be close, but family drama split the family 20 years ago. I've been an utter mess. I went from getting 3-5 hours a sleep a night to getting 2 or less. I no longer feel like I'm in reality. I can no longer think straight. I've lost 20 lbs. How does one deal with this level of grief? Like seriously? I'm barely functioning. I don't drink hard alcohol anymore and I don't use drugs anymore so I can't numb this pain. I can't concentrate on anything except the loss. My occultic studies and everything else I have passion for don't interest me.

So my father died a month ago. It was suicide by cop. He was a Vietnam vet. He had dementia. We used to be close, but family drama split the family 20 years ago. I've been an utter mess. I went from getting 3-5 hours a sleep a night to getting 2 or less. I no longer feel like I'm in reality. I can no longer think straight. I've lost 20 lbs. How does one deal with this level of grief? Like seriously? I'm barely functioning. I don't drink hard alcohol anymore and I don't use drugs anymore so I can't numb this pain. I can't concentrate on anything except the loss. My occultic studies and everything else I have passion for don't interest me.

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[–] • 3 pts

My condolences to you and your family. It's too soon to 'just get over it' and don't put that expectation on yourself or others. There's no time table here. Despite what you wrote, the level of grief you feel indicates it came from a great love for your father and empathy for his suffering. Focus on what created that love, you can't change the past yet you can focus on what was good from the past. Get out of your current surrounding, go for a walk in nature and change your environment to help soothe your mind. It's okay not to do your hobbies right now. Take it slow, give yourself an allowance to slow down and rest and refresh from the stress.