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So my father died a month ago. It was suicide by cop. He was a Vietnam vet. He had dementia. We used to be close, but family drama split the family 20 years ago. I've been an utter mess. I went from getting 3-5 hours a sleep a night to getting 2 or less. I no longer feel like I'm in reality. I can no longer think straight. I've lost 20 lbs. How does one deal with this level of grief? Like seriously? I'm barely functioning. I don't drink hard alcohol anymore and I don't use drugs anymore so I can't numb this pain. I can't concentrate on anything except the loss. My occultic studies and everything else I have passion for don't interest me.

So my father died a month ago. It was suicide by cop. He was a Vietnam vet. He had dementia. We used to be close, but family drama split the family 20 years ago. I've been an utter mess. I went from getting 3-5 hours a sleep a night to getting 2 or less. I no longer feel like I'm in reality. I can no longer think straight. I've lost 20 lbs. How does one deal with this level of grief? Like seriously? I'm barely functioning. I don't drink hard alcohol anymore and I don't use drugs anymore so I can't numb this pain. I can't concentrate on anything except the loss. My occultic studies and everything else I have passion for don't interest me.

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[–] • 0 pt

Personally, I pray when dealing with grief.

How does it work? Why would God give us that much pain and grief/sorrow to deal with?

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Did God "give" it to us?

My understanding is God created life in perfect harmony. There is a specific way he designed us to live and be. if we go outside that design, we suffer pain. Is this God "striking us" with punishment? Or is it us not following the design and thus sewing disharmony for ourselves to reap later?

If you mistreat the engine of your car, not following the design by it's manufacturer, you will run into issues. Is this the manufacturer punishing you for disobedience?

[–] • 1 pt

> My understanding is God created life in perfect harmony

I believe the same. Something I'm coming to believe though is that we are much further in Revelation than I originally thought. Much further.

I'm honestly beginning to believe that Christ already had his thousands year reign, it was perfect harmony, and that we are at the end of Satans little season which began about 1774. The dead were already resurrected and we are the rest spoken of only once in the whole Bible as far as I'm aware of. Making it an abnormality. I also believe the Antichrist is alive at this moment. The Antichrist will be Nimrod, the original Antichrist. They found his body in 2003. If they immediately cloned it you'd be looking at someone 18-20 today. I could go into further detail but I'd need to dig into my notes. Thank you for giving me a brief respite from what's been on my mind.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Thank you for giving me a brief respite from what's been on my mind.

I am greatful to help provide some relief, however small, during such a time of pain.

Take care

[–] • 1 pt

Pain is the greatest tutor. But it is not given by God, only our circumstances/actions can bring it about.. and He is the light that can bring us out of the darkness, cast by the enemy.

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

"Jesus wept." - John 11:35 Once you understand why, you'll know why things are the way they are.