I'm sorry for your loss and can relate to your pain.

What helps me in this situations is to go camping or just hiking in the mountains in the afternoon, and spend the night there awake by the fire all alone with the thoughts and memories. Use this time to talk to God or just be alone with yourself to process everything you are going through right now.

I found the book No Death No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh helpful.

I’m sorry for your grief. It will pass. Busy hands, quiet mind. Good luck.

Very sorry to hear about your father's death.

I would like to be able to give you a quick answer, but the things in life that really matter don't have easy solutions. Personally, I pray when dealing with grief.

If the relationship with your father had fallen off awhile ago, why the grief? Is it because you regret not spending more time with your dad? Maybe you can focus your energy on spending time with those you care about. If you take this tragedy and make a positive change because of it, you'll be honoring your father's memory. I didn't know the man, of course, but I imagine he would be happier to see you change for the better over his passing, rther than self-destructing. Do it for him.

I hope you can get past the grief. Take care

My father died in April and I did something similar to what said but on my family farm. I did some shooting to relieve internal anger at targets and spent the night sitting on a blanket in the field and eventually falling asleep and looking up at the stars. I also listened to various podcasts to distract my mind. I don't think the grief ever goes away but the intensity of it simmers slowly. My condolences, if you have lucid dreams think positive things about him before you eventually fall asleep. He might come visit you and you can say goodbye. This happened to me and it was like a weight off of my shoulders.

Remember the good times you had with him and be thankful you have those memories, hold them dear. Remember no loving parent would ever want their child to self destruct over mourning their death, we are all going to die someday, it's a part of every life. What did your dad want for you? To be happy and healthy, to percevere, to make the most of YOUR life. Get out with friends, do some new things, distract yourself away from mourning your loss. Volunteer, make some new friends, help others less fortunate. The pain will subside in time, your overpowering sense of loss will diminish. Life goes on, the living need you and you need them. Ask God to help you heal, to take the intense pain away. He does work wonders.

My dad died at age 50, I was 27 and ill equipped to deal with it. I buried myself in my work for a while, fortunately I had a loving mom, a compassionate girlfriend and a few good friends to help me through that tough time. The sense of loss of losing a loved one never goes away but the relentless pain and anguish accompanying it will subside in time.

You should consider grief counseling. You sound pretty far down the hole. Professional help may uncover the root of your sadness and it may not be what you think it is.

Sorry to hear brother. While there was a rift between you, do you not think he is in a better place? I don't wish dementia on anyone. The trauma of the immediacy unfortunately prevented any closure in person with him but I agree with , disconnecting and communing with nature might give you what you are looking for. We always think there will be another day with our loved ones.

I too had a strained relationship with my father and he passed without us completely reconciling. I feel for you.

Go to church. Figuring out which one you want to go to on Sunday will give you a bit of distraction until then.

My condolences to you and your family. It's too soon to 'just get over it' and don't put that expectation on yourself or others. There's no time table here. Despite what you wrote, the level of grief you feel indicates it came from a great love for your father and empathy for his suffering. Focus on what created that love, you can't change the past yet you can focus on what was good from the past. Get out of your current surrounding, go for a walk in nature and change your environment to help soothe your mind. It's okay not to do your hobbies right now. Take it slow, give yourself an allowance to slow down and rest and refresh from the stress.

Sorry to hear about your grief. Nothing I can say will help, but know you will get through this. It will come in waves crashing into you, but over time the intensity and frequency will diminish, but never truly go away. Some people find solace in religion, if you are a believer talked to a priest/reverend/shaman. Getting out and doing the things you enjoyed together may help as well. God bless.

this is probably the wrong answer, but i was in a similar boat, and i decided to let it turn to something else. i kept my self busy. i educated myself, and i basically covered it up until it went away. this is a really fucked up place, but i did not want to be yet another contributing factor in the shit pile. losing a parent is hard because at one time, they were all you ever had. it is not your turn to be all that someone has and make sure that that energy continues on. it really is not fair. but i used those feelings to help me be a better parent. God bless you, brother. this too shall pass