About 21 years ago ... I had a 1 gallon jug of Maple Syrup in the back of the fridge and hadn't gotten around to opening it for most of a year. I love maple syrup, but it was so expensive I seldom buy it. I was just married a couple of years earlier. Strangely, my now ex-wife started gaining noticeable weight months earlier ...

I finally made pancakes for breakfast one morning, had a nice hot stack ready to serve. I reached into the fridge, grabbed the jug of syrup and ... it was freaking empty!!! I was shocked!

It turns out the ex confessed that she had tapped it and craved maple syrup mixed with peanut butter for a sweet. She went through the whole jug behind my back ... I never saw her eating the peanut butter mixture. UFB. She left the empty jug in the fridge too. No she didn't offer to replace it either. Eventually I replaced her.

To this day that memory comes up every time I treat myself to maple syrup and pancakes.

My ex, who had high blood pressure, heavily salted everything.

One day, I said, "I saw you salt that anchovy pizza." His reply was, "Yes, but I salted AROUND the anchovies."

My ex would just dig into a tub of cottage cheese with a spoon.

Crackers and milk, like it's cereal

Mayo on broccoli

Maple syrup on cream cheese. And not real maple syrup. The high fructose corn syrup kind.

Pineapple chunks and pico de gallo on tortilla chips...

It's delicious.

I'm the weird one, though. Apparently dipping a biscuit in apple juice is weird.

She used to pull the blanket over her nose and sniff her own farts!

No joke! She said she wanted to see if it smelled like what she ate.

Gorgeous redhead.

Sliced boiled eggs with a dollup of ketchup is tasty. Hate away.