What I'm about to share I've only shared with a handful of people in my life. I'm fully aware of how crazy this will sound but I need to vent because I'm rather unnerved. I will attempt to explain in as much detail as I can. Some I can only describe through the eyes of a child, so keep that in mind. Have any of you ever heard of shadow people? I'm not talking about some tweakers hallucinations. My whole childhood is filled with memories of what I used to call the devil. Most of my life I've had this constant companion that always remains in the shadows. I'd only know it there because you could "feel" it. It emanates a feeling of evil(for lack of better wording). You could feel what direction it was. It almost always remained behind me. Only twice have I actually seen it. Both times were as a child. Once when I was about 7 years and once somewhere around 10 or 11 years. The second time I saw it I wasn't the only one. My sister's used to get scared at night, come into my room and crawl into my bed. On this particular night we all woke at the same time and saw this stocky dark figure standing at the door of my bed with it's arms crossed. It had glowing red eyes. We covered our heads and remained still, too scared to move or speak. We never spoke about this to one another until one of those sisters and I were at a party as adults(18+19ish) where everyone was sharing ghost stories. Up to this point I could still convince myself it was a dream or imagination. But after realizing it couldn't be a dream because she remembered seeing it as well. Despite only seeing it twice I would feel it's presence daily. It was a constant companion. I hated the dark. It was always just out of sight. The closer it was the more intense the feelings. When I was about 22 I hit the beginning of the worse era of my life. I won't get into full details. I lost a wife and child that were my world. I went into a serious downward spiral that lasted the rest of my 20s. Shortly after this tragedy happened I was walking down a dark street about 1030 pm and that feeling came upon me from my shadowy stalker friend. It caught me in the wrong mood. I turned toward where I could feel it and began screaming at it. "I'm done running from you! If you want me so fucking badly come take me! Enter me, take me, do whatever just leave me the fuck alone!" That was the day it disappeared. After this I gave up on life. I began getting drunk and high off whatever I could get my hands on. I used to say if it can be smoked, snorted or swallowed I've most likely done it. I don't like needles, doctors, or hospitals due to being run over at 3 and being in a body cast for the better part of a year. Thankfully this is why I drew the line at needles. It was also at this time that I was hit with major wanderlust, or maybe it was me running from the area and my pain. I moved all over the US, never staying in one place for more than 3 months or so. I became a jack of all trades, a master at none. I picked up whatever work I could quickly get until I had to move to get away from myself. I never left any location with more than a backpack. I couldn't let myself succeed. Self hatred and suicidal thoughts were my only companions. I couldn't begin to tell you how many drunken nights I had a loaded gun in my mouth. Obviously, I never had the courage to pull the trigger. I was afraid I wouldn't do it right and would wind up as an invalid. Eventually an extremely caring and patient angel made her way into my life and saw something in the broken man I'd become. She stubbornly refused to be pushed away and held my pieces together when I simply wanted her to leave me alone. I don't know how or why, but she put me back together better than before. We are currently happily married. I know I've digressed from my main focal point but I feel I needed to add some details to tie the beginning of this story to the end. In all my dark years not once was that presence felt. I'd assumed it was gone. Until recently.... My wife woke one night about a year ago. She rolled over to cuddle and fall back asleep but froze. Standing over me on my side of the bed was this dark stocky figure with crossed arms and glowing red eyes. She was so scared she covered her head and began praying. A few minutes later she uncovered her head and it was gone. Since then I can feel the presence again. Not as strongly as before, but it's there in the shadows at night. Always watching. On a possibly linked separate note, over the last few years both my wife and one of my daughters have had episodes of sleep paralysis where they wake up, can't move, and see something in the room. This brings me to a few days ago when I ran across others speaking about shadow people while I was researching more occult stuff. I'd never given it the time before. These people were discussing what they looked like and I froze. They gave detailed descriptions of what I've experienced. Down to the short, stocky dark figure with crossed arms and glowing red eyes. So now I'm rather freaked out and just needing to vent while I sip on my coffee. Have any of you experienced what I've explained? I've always had sleeping issues. Trouble falling asleep and trouble staying asleep. All males in my family suffer this curse, averaging 4-5 hours of sleep. I consistently wake ay 3am and 330 am. Like seriously, exactly those times. In recent years it's only become exacerbated. I'm now beginning to wonder if it's a familial curse. Debated putting this in the occult sub. Still not sure it shouldn't be there. Edit: fixed some spelling and grammar