I remember the first time I opened the door and saw snow on the ground. It was shocking. The weatherman said it would be too warm to snow. It was then I realized climate change was stalking us all with every breath we take. I was disheveled.

I went out anyways and down the street was a horrific car crash. It was as small car full of twenty clowns. It had lost control on a banana, in spite of the fresh snow. Shoes and balloons were everywhere. It was terrible.That day I lost my sense of humor. I now only see sarcasm as literal statements.

Won't someone think of the children?

I know your entranced with greta but come on man!