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I have found now what seems to be a trend that if I tell people I play an instrument - the saxophone - they almost seem like they are downright genuinely offended. I thought this would be a light fun thing to mention but it seems like they get offended and they're whole opinion of you just tanks. I had a previous friend who simply refused to talk if I had anything to say / mention about the saxophone (new songs, busking sessions etc). And now at the end of a second interview who they were ecstatic about me they asked at the end what type of things do you like to do for a hobby and I just mentioned the saxophone. Somehow by the end of just giving the basics it's like their opinion of me couldn't have tanked more. 5 days later at the moment no response. And I've seen this tanking opinion happen many times before, In particular with 'professionals'. My previous boss was somehow so offended he referred to it as "that brass thing you play" and some how escalated to think I play during work time on site (?).

I'm actually to the point where I'm actually worried to let new 'professionals' I meet in the future even know that I play.

I have found now what seems to be a trend that if I tell people I play an instrument - the saxophone - they almost seem like they are downright genuinely offended. I thought this would be a light fun thing to mention but it seems like they get offended and they're whole opinion of you just tanks. I had a previous friend who simply refused to talk if I had anything to say / mention about the saxophone (new songs, busking sessions etc). And now at the end of a second interview who they were ecstatic about me they asked at the end what type of things do you like to do for a hobby and I just mentioned the saxophone. Somehow by the end of just giving the basics it's like their opinion of me couldn't have tanked more. 5 days later at the moment no response. And I've seen this tanking opinion happen many times before, In particular with 'professionals'. My previous boss was somehow so offended he referred to it as "that brass thing you play" and some how escalated to think I play during work time on site (?). I'm actually to the point where I'm actually worried to let new 'professionals' I meet in the future even know that I play.

(post is archived)

[–] • 9 pts

It's not just music, if you have any out-of-work activity they will take it as an "insult". I had to listen to awkward passive aggressive remarks over going to camping/hiking trips over weekend.

God forbid you do anything other after work than sitting on your ass drinking beer and watching sportsball.

[–] • 3 pts

jesus thank you guys i thought it was just me

[–] • 3 pts

There should be no "after work" slave. Work until sleep. Back to work. Eat at your desk. Gym is downstairs, you have 15 mins. Go.

[–] • 3 pts

Actually you're right. I've already started not telling 'professionals' I renovated a lot of my house. I was getting the same reaction but almost worse.

[–] • 4 pts

Sounds like a bunch of petty narcissists.

The only other thing is maybe you get long winded talking about your hobbies/passions.

You're probably more intelligent than they are and they feel threatened in some way. Kind of like the whole business card scene from American psycho.

[–] • 1 pt

Well I thought just now maybe they could have thought I was retarded but when they were confronted with something that their mind could not deny that I was superior (in their own mind's perspective), they became extremely ego hurt that they are lower than someone they just previously thought was retarded. So since their cognitive dissonance has no other route, they just mind mindbogglingly and bizarrely just cut off all association.

[–] • 6 pts

I think the actual issue is that 95% of people have no hobbies or interests. Literal NPCs who just spend all their waking hours consuming media and vidya while being praised for agreeing with the group and shunning all things normal and decent.

Every time you mention any interests that aren't related to the hottest show or the recent sportsball match, it makes it obvious you are NOT one of them and you're not to be trusted. I think that's what the effect is you're noticing. It's not related to the instrument at all. They are genuinely anxious and bothered by you and about you, because you're clearly not falling in line, and that's uncomfortable for them.

I genuinely wouldn't tell your coworkers/etc anything about your life at all. Nothing to gain and everything to lose. Talk to your friends, and get away from NPCs as much as possible.

[–] • 5 pts

My previous boss was somehow so offended he refereed to it as "that brass thing you play" and some how escalated to think I play during work time on site

This made me laugh. What kind of idiot thinks anyone would sneak around playing the saxophone at work? Isn't it one of the loudest instruments?

[–] • 2 pts

Covert saxophonists. Sneaking up on people then just blaring the intro to Baker Street.

[–] • 0 pt

There was a guy at work who would play on break before. It was pretty nice.

[–] • 4 pts

Perhaps the negative reaction is from a person who themselves wishes they could find time and play their instrument but has no time for it and is irritated due to jealousy with someone who finds time to play music and be a successful professional also. They'll put down your skill and interest in music, but if they played, they'd expect to be praised.

[–] • 1 pt

It's interesting that you add the extra "they'd expect to be praised." because the one guy in the interview did actually mention they play or at least did once. I gave some credence to this but I did not specifically praise them. Afterwards I thought should have I praised the person?

[–] • 2 pts

Personally, my opinion of you would be higher since it takes discipline to practice and learn an instrument. Anyone that feels otherwise is jealous they haven't. I don't play, but my son does.

[–] • 2 pts

Strange. I definitely hold instrument musicians in high regard due to the dedication, practice, and skill needed to be decent at it.

[–] • 1 pt

they are correlating your your musical interests with some sort of masculinity balance. they assume you the time you take out your schedule precludes you from doing more masculine things thus making you a weak liability. are you showing up jacked head to toe? do ya give em the wide eye? you should definitetly give them a loud blast one friday afternoon as a surprise. start blaring some bbng, moon hooch, viagra boys coming and leaving from work and in the break room. maybe start telling people you play the brass mace.

[–] • 1 pt

No but when I play my stuff off of someone else's Spotify / AMI /touch tunes , they seem to like it.

At my real job, I don't really mention it for the reasons of, oh I guess you are busy doing that instead of working, that's why you didn't answer my call. No ahole, I was on a con call with my VP or customer, not fucking off as you said.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

I played the bari sax in school, marching band, jazz band, quartet, concert band etc. I now have a EWI, guitar, synthesizers, drum machines, etc...

Need a new mixer, a nice keyboard amp, and a better drum machine and I'll be set.

[–] • 1 pt

On the contrary, they try to equate their shitty playing to mine, as if we have common ground.

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