Sorry for your loss. As the caretaker for my mom it took it a while for it to hit me when she passed. On the day she died I don’t remember crying at all. On the one hand it was a relief and on the other there was so much left to do yet so didn’t really have the time to grieve. Eventually the hardship of being her caretaker faded and the memories of her being mom returned to where I felt the loss and still do these seventeen years later.