I completely understand. Man, have I been there. I’ve even had long phases where I was positive that my destiny was one of failure, being punished, and loneliness. That God was giving my karmic punishment where I was always going to get within arm’s reach or happiness only to have it pulled out from under me. You’re not alone in this thinking. You’re never alone. And we have to remember that this “lost connection” sensation does happens. Even the Bible touches on that multiple times. Paraphrasing — “Sometimes the Lord’s Presence can be felt as if you’re one in the same, other times you feel alone and as if nobody is listening.” Stay persistent. Don’t give up. You may be knocking on a door that was meant to be closed. But eventually, with 100% certainly, God will bring you closer to Him.