Long story short, my parents divorced when I was an infant. My dad lived in another state, my mom hated being a "single mom" for obvious reasons. Both of my parents have said they didn't want kids, but I was a last ditch effort to save their marriage. Most of my childhood I was free to do what I wanted, come and go as I please, no real rules or structure. My mom worked third shift and later remarried. I only saw my dad a few holidays a year. I wasn't a priority, so I was left to my own devices. It was fun in it's own way, but quite lonely at the same time. I always viewed children as unwanted mistakes that burden adults, and treat my friends as my family. Now I struggle with romantic relationships because I have low self esteem trust issues. I have no kids because I have a genuine fear of being a single mom, and I'm indifferent to kids in general. I am constantly concerned with keeping my finances in order because I have no support system. That being said, I do alright. I have lots of hobbies and friends, a good doggo, a stable career, etc. Sometimes I need to work hard to shake off the depression/negative self talk, but so far it's manageable. If I was a weaker or less intelligent person life would probably be harder.