My mom found out she had cancer while pregnant with me. She didn't seem treatment until I started preschool and by then it was too late. My father blamed me for her death and told me every single day that I was the one who killed her. Over summers he would ship me off to my sisters house so he could go on a bender. My sister's husband would beat me, severely. One noteworthy incident included a shovel in the garage. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks from that one under the guise of a "dirt bike accident". Once I got old enough to do so, I left and never spoke to them again until my Dad died. I have my own family, my own lifestyle, completely detached from any other member of my biological family. I won't lie that sometimes I wish things had been different. But God sometimes allows bad things in our lives in order to help strengthen and harden us against this world and Satan's attacks. It's all about perspective about how you want to handle it. Some folks want to wallow or have a pity mentality. Whatever works for you I suppose but that is not productive. Seek strength, cling to the Lord, and grind out your own niche in the world.