I have been told that everyone's trauma is their own, and it is all legitimate.

And I actually believe that.

I know a bunch of people here don't believe that. That if Pappy didn't beat the Sin out of you with a switch every Sunday, you didn't actually have trauma.

But I would say the two things that fucked me up were my parents getting divorced, and being the only white kid in my class from Kindergarten through 6th grade.

Learning that your parents vehemently hate each other is a hard thing for a child to learn, especially because I was only six at the time.

A lot of children assume that their parents get divorced because of them. Because the parents don't love you enough.

This is absolutely correct. If your parents actually loved you more than anything in the world, they would stick through their unhappy marriage and raise you together, until you were a proper adult. Then they can get divorced.

Being the only white kid in school...

I don't hate black people. I really don't.

But being around high concentrations of them during your formative years, when you are supposed to be learning, and socializing, and becoming a real human.

It isn't healthy for the young white mind.

My mom found out she had cancer while pregnant with me. She didn't seem treatment until I started preschool and by then it was too late. My father blamed me for her death and told me every single day that I was the one who killed her. Over summers he would ship me off to my sisters house so he could go on a bender. My sister's husband would beat me, severely. One noteworthy incident included a shovel in the garage. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks from that one under the guise of a "dirt bike accident".

Once I got old enough to do so, I left and never spoke to them again until my Dad died. I have my own family, my own lifestyle, completely detached from any other member of my biological family. I won't lie that sometimes I wish things had been different. But God sometimes allows bad things in our lives in order to help strengthen and harden us against this world and Satan's attacks.

It's all about perspective about how you want to handle it. Some folks want to wallow or have a pity mentality. Whatever works for you I suppose but that is not productive. Seek strength, cling to the Lord, and grind out your own niche in the world.

Long story short, my parents divorced when I was an infant. My dad lived in another state, my mom hated being a "single mom" for obvious reasons. Both of my parents have said they didn't want kids, but I was a last ditch effort to save their marriage. Most of my childhood I was free to do what I wanted, come and go as I please, no real rules or structure. My mom worked third shift and later remarried. I only saw my dad a few holidays a year. I wasn't a priority, so I was left to my own devices. It was fun in it's own way, but quite lonely at the same time. I always viewed children as unwanted mistakes that burden adults, and treat my friends as my family.

Now I struggle with romantic relationships because I have low self esteem trust issues. I have no kids because I have a genuine fear of being a single mom, and I'm indifferent to kids in general. I am constantly concerned with keeping my finances in order because I have no support system.

That being said, I do alright. I have lots of hobbies and friends, a good doggo, a stable career, etc. Sometimes I need to work hard to shake off the depression/negative self talk, but so far it's manageable. If I was a weaker or less intelligent person life would probably be harder.

Realising that the jewish clowns who were hellbent on trying to break me mentally in childhood did not succeed, and that it would be an absolute disservice to myself as a person, and all of my ancestors before me who faced hardship as well, if I ended things now, or otherwise let it affect me to the point where it affects my day to day life. Figured this shit out for myself, without any help from (((psychologists))) as well.

I look back at the shitty times in my life and am thankful for them. The perspectives they have given me have guided me through some very tough times. Times that I could have never handled without the experiences.

Nobody gets out of childhood unscathed. You can shout til you are blue in the face, no one cares. It’s best to get a good counselor for intensive outpatient cognitive behavioral therapy where you can learn to understand the schemas behind your behaviors and take away their power.

It's not your fault what happened, but it's your responsibility to carry that "baggage" appropriately. Got into jiu jitsu and extreme sports like bombing hills long boarding or building ebikes that do 55mph and try not to die. Best thing is somehow forgive and move on so the people who hurt you can no longer live rent free in your head. What ever that looks like.

It screwed me up for a long time. I will never trust people properly because I was serially molested by a group of people who traded children not in their preferred age group, and molested at home. I was physically beat with belts, mentally abused by a schizo/borderline/bipolar custodial parent. Pandered by the same. I acted out as a teen. Sought dangerous risky behaviors trying to punish myself. I had four years of therapy with a psychologist who specializes in trauma victims. I had years of working through my blaming God. No one gets over it, we just find ways to cope and understand that if it did not happen we would be entirely different people. I happen to like how strong my mind is now, and like that I can spot bullshit a mile away because I survived years of the bullshit. I also will go figurative balls-to-the-wall to help victims. But I have also since learned some people pretend to be victims to get close enough to try to manipulate. Don't let people invalidate your issues by saying "You should get over it." They did not survive what you did. But people that act traumatized over dumb shit do irk me. Being denied your faddish clothes of choice, or not allowed to have a laptop, or having poor parents is not on the same level as the horrors some lived through. Accept you will not be like others. Embrace it as reforging you into something stronger.

Establishing a personal locus of control is incredibly helpful in this area, as is honesty and boundaries. My parents are evil. I cut off all contact with them years ago as they refused to respect any boundaries. My life improved dramatically as a result of choosing to determine what I would do and whom will be a part of my life.

Yes but I don’t consider myself a survivor. I’m more like a second person. And when flashbacks of my former self happen I am wide eyed in pure shock what an absolutely horrible story! Are you telling me… that person… in that story… was me? That happened to me?

I still can’t listen to FF6 music without crying. Because it takes me right back to the point where all that happened.