A lot of books on cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectic behavioral therapy - I had two shrinks refuse to treat me. One outright said I'd just suicide so what was the point. So I had to fix myself enough until I could get a decent talk therapist. Even then it was more of a book talk - she recommended books and I'd read them before my session and we'd talk through them. She mostly had me study psychopaths. Apparently my dad was one and I kept getting into relationships with them. It took until I was 37 before I had a healthy relationship. I'm still not 'normal' but I can play normal when I have to. I have what is considered complex PTSD but I know how to cope with it. I still don't have many friends and can't stand social situations (but can fake it). I prefer online interactions to in person. Probably beacause I can shut them off or walk away. My bf is great and let's me just wander off and read a book when I need an escape. He let's me be me and have my own thoughts and opinions which even after a these years together is amazing to me. My dad wanted a mind controlled slave and it really made for some lasting damage. My mom is great but had no idea what was going on (as a kid I didn't want to burden her). I moved back in with her at 35 and she learned the truth and helped me so much. We still talk almost daily when before that I'd been so isolated from her we would talk once or twice a year.