Did your parents get divorced? | Poal: Say what you want.

[–] • 23 pts

My parents were old school. They were going to stay together even if it killed them. And they did. In my opinion, children are almost always better off if their parents stay together than if they get divorced.

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[–] • 0 pt

Yup. Parents get divorced for their own selfish interests. That is why in joint custody it is the kid that has to go from house to house. The kid is treated like property.

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[–] • 9 pts

Nope. Mine were married for 50+ years before my dad died.

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[–] • 0 pt

This enrages and infuriates me.

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[–] • 3 pts

This enrages and infuriates me.

Certainly not my intent.

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[–] • 4 pts

I know it was not your intent, nor could you be blamed for my attitude.

I'm not certain anyone could actually be blamed for my attitude, other than myself, and possibly God for creating me as such.

It just makes me pissed off that people have real familial connections. The possibility of going to a Thanksgiving with cousins and Grandparents and Nephews and Nieces from both sides of the family.

It makes me uncomfortable that Family can be so easily discarded in some cases, and in other cases, people really stick it out.

Ironically, makes me miss my Step-Father a lot. He was a real ride-or-die motherfucker.

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[–] • 8 pts

Mine did yes, never knew my dad. My mom was a manipulative bitch and I cut her off when I had children with my wife and she started to manipulate them, I recognised the patterns and decided I wasn't going to allow that to happen to them. Was a hard decision but my eldest child is now 24 and hasn't seen her nan since she was about 5, my son really has never had anything to do with her as he was only just born. I will never get an inheritance and I'm fine with that tbh, I would rather have had well balanced children that were happy and didn't suffer her, like my brother and I did (he's also cut her off). It saddens me in some ways but ultimately I understand that they would never have had a good experience with her if it had continued.

Weirdly (I found out years after) where I used to hang around in my teens, I used to walk past a guy a couple of times a week and I eventually found out(after he had died at 49) that the very person I used to walk by was actually my dad, he didn't know me and I didn't know him, very weird.

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[–] • 4 pts

Weirdly (I found out years after) where I used to hang around in my teens, I used to walk past a guy a couple of times a week and I eventually found out(after he had died at 49) that the very person I used to walk by was actually my dad, he didn't know me and I didn't know him, very weird.

That's kinda crazy. Did you have any thoughts about that guy when you saw him on the street and didn't know he was your dad?

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[–] • 5 pts

(edited )

No, I just recognised years after when talking with cousins from talking(we all lived in same kind of area and hung out together , we didn't know we were related until it came out) then one cousin and I were talking and I clicked that they were talking about the person I used to walk by and I worked it out from there. I don't have anything to do with uncles, aunts on my dad's side and really only stay in touch with my 1 cousin.

I don't know how old you are but I would say if you're old enough to make your own way, then do that, some people shouldn't be together and it really really fucks children up(I'm certain you're not a child ) if the damage is done, you have to understand that none of it is your fault and people sometimes make each other miserable(sadly).

I would also add that I have been with my wife for 26 years or so now and so it is possible to form relationships that work well.

Good luck.

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[–] • 3 pts

No but they should have. They fucking hated each other.

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[–] • 0 pt

I'd say the same thing. My mom was a psychobitch, and my dad was a doormat. It was not a good situation, and I'm not sure what a divorce would have been like. As teenagers my brothers, and I wanted to live with my dad. We were thinking that we'd be able to get away with everything. I couldn't imagine my parents trying to get with other people, though. It seems more likely that my mom would have done that. Someone else would've gotten a taste of the psychobitch. She didn't act like that in public or around general family members. Well, there was this one time when my brother's gf witnessed an episode and didn't want to go back to our house and be around my mom. My brother had to talk her into it.

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[+] [deleted] • 1 pt

[–] • 0 pt

How did it feel? Having you parents hate each other?

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[–] • 3 pts

Nope. In death did they part. My mother stuck with him through over a decade of chronic illness, including a transplant.

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[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

You're assuming your 2 dad's identified as married bigot!

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[–] • 1 pt

True

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[–] • 3 pts

(edited )

My dad was crazy abusive. My mom left him when I was 10. The judge forced me to continue with visitations until I was 18. He took out all his anger and hatred of women on me. I had to do a lot of therapy and read a lot of books and worked hard on myself to stay out of abusive relationships. My mom should have just taken me and run when his true colors showed after I was born.

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[–] • 0 pt

That sounds pretty awful.

What books did you read?

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[–] • 1 pt

A lot of books on cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectic behavioral therapy - I had two shrinks refuse to treat me. One outright said I'd just suicide so what was the point. So I had to fix myself enough until I could get a decent talk therapist.

Even then it was more of a book talk - she recommended books and I'd read them before my session and we'd talk through them. She mostly had me study psychopaths. Apparently my dad was one and I kept getting into relationships with them.

It took until I was 37 before I had a healthy relationship. I'm still not 'normal' but I can play normal when I have to. I have what is considered complex PTSD but I know how to cope with it. I still don't have many friends and can't stand social situations (but can fake it).

I prefer online interactions to in person. Probably beacause I can shut them off or walk away. My bf is great and let's me just wander off and read a book when I need an escape. He let's me be me and have my own thoughts and opinions which even after a these years together is amazing to me.

My dad wanted a mind controlled slave and it really made for some lasting damage. My mom is great but had no idea what was going on (as a kid I didn't want to burden her). I moved back in with her at 35 and she learned the truth and helped me so much. We still talk almost daily when before that I'd been so isolated from her we would talk once or twice a year.