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I have no idea what to ask or how to bring up the subject? Im also getting very mixed signals from my gf on what type of reaction to prepare for, which is making me question if i should instead wait it out until 2023 or maybe even summer

I have no idea what to ask or how to bring up the subject? Im also getting very mixed signals from my gf on what type of reaction to prepare for, which is making me question if i should instead wait it out until 2023 or maybe even summer

(post is archived)

[–] 0 pt

If everything is great, don’t rush. Take your time. Is there some reason you feel the need to rush into marriage?

I dont personally feel rushed, but ive been receiving lots of conflicting information from multiple sources which is confusing me. My church was telling me dont wait, do it now. Than she was saying we should wait, but now she wants to get married soon and wants me to ask her parents. But if i cant gauge the parents' reactions, i dont even want to touch the subject, since my gf has given me very very conflicting reactions on what to expect from the parents.

[–] 0 pt

It’s purely between you and her. Nothing else is even close to important. Learn to work out things like this between you, there will be countless ones in the future.

[–] 1 pt

So it doesn't go bad over time? What else is there to wait for?

There's a lot of factors that are at play, the first is the lack of proper decision gauging in the reaction to asking in the first place, at this point it could really be any reaction. I can practice for any result coming from the parents, since it's no different from any other verbal transaction in my eyes.

One of the primary reasons i decided to stall out asking is because im getting a lot of conflicting information from my gf: on one hand she feels comfortable that i ask now, but not even a few weeks ago she said we should date for a year before i ask to truly know each other. Any time i get a conflicting request like this, i tend to halt the decision until later since the distance between the two thought is very close.

The mom had mentioned to my gf that we can't really progress the relationship much further since we're not married, implying we should get married soon or at least be engaged. However at this point im just going off what my gf is telling me, if she even hints its not comfortable for her to ask, or she feels embarrassed at me asking or nervous, i simply punt the idea for next month. In a lot of cases, simply delaying the timing is better than coming off as too eager or coming off as having a nefarious reasoning

[–] 0 pt (edited )

Imo if you don't know how to confidently know (I'm not saying you don't) that your girlfriend is 'your wife' within 3-6-9 months minimal, then you aren't going to know how to know and if you're prolonging you're just waiting for it to get ruined. That's MSM's culture opinion on how to play things out. We all know what that's intention is - ruined relationships, divorce and barely a kid or two.

Relationships naturally deteriorate. That's just a force of nature thing. If you don't wife your girlfriend with at least a year and a half then it's just going to go bad. And if you stick around anyways. Well.

Wife's should be child'ed within 2 years of marriage. Shoot for at least 3 kids if you want the marriage to remain good. These are just all the force of nature timings and statistics.