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My folks have moved to Florida for the winter. My mother however is in memory care because she has mid-stage to beginning late stage dementia. There's a man in the nursing home who's taking a liking to her and they've been hanging out for the past couple of days and the staff isn't exactly trying to figure out how to have that not happen. My father comes to visit and finds this guy and my mom hanging out and he brings it up to the staff and they're like oh it's harmless. My dad's condo association just had a meeting yesterday and they went around the room and talked about their lives to each other as kind of a meet and greet. And my father keened up to a divorcee from New Jersey. So he went to go bullshit with her after the event and I think she invited him to happy hour on Friday. To me the kicker is obviously they're married, obviously they're lonely. My mother has told me that she wants to be intimate and her husband left and all she was left with was just this caretaker person (my dad). This is when she was back home. This just sounds like a dumpster fire waiting to happen. I want my dad to be happy and my mother deserves that too. at the end of the day my father is going to go home in May and my mom's going to be left in a nursing home by herself till November. My father would probably enjoy the company of this woman however it goes. I'm not saying anything will happen but I also told him that I didn't really care if it did, I'd like to see him happy, but I don't want to see him do something stupid and get played. What do you guys think?

My folks have moved to Florida for the winter. My mother however is in memory care because she has mid-stage to beginning late stage dementia. There's a man in the nursing home who's taking a liking to her and they've been hanging out for the past couple of days and the staff isn't exactly trying to figure out how to have that not happen. My father comes to visit and finds this guy and my mom hanging out and he brings it up to the staff and they're like oh it's harmless. My dad's condo association just had a meeting yesterday and they went around the room and talked about their lives to each other as kind of a meet and greet. And my father keened up to a divorcee from New Jersey. So he went to go bullshit with her after the event and I think she invited him to happy hour on Friday. To me the kicker is obviously they're married, obviously they're lonely. My mother has told me that she wants to be intimate and her husband left and all she was left with was just this caretaker person (my dad). This is when she was back home. This just sounds like a dumpster fire waiting to happen. I want my dad to be happy and my mother deserves that too. at the end of the day my father is going to go home in May and my mom's going to be left in a nursing home by herself till November. My father would probably enjoy the company of this woman however it goes. I'm not saying anything will happen but I also told him that I didn't really care if it did, I'd like to see him happy, but I don't want to see him do something stupid and get played. What do you guys think?

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[–] • 0 pt

I'm not sure if that's going to be viable or not. There's longevity on my mom's side and not with cognitive ability either. She could live for another 20 years, he's not going to live that long. Maybe he and this lady just keep it platonic but I can't see that being the case. I'm at a loss, I don't know how to guide him with it. He can't abandon her because my brother and I wouldn't allow him to, we would move her somewhere else closer to my brother. To be honest there's a good chunk of that money that he has that's hers as well, due to her father leaving her an inheritance. it's not huge amounts but it's enough for a couple years in a nursing home. after that she would just go on state and live in a facility unfortunately till she died. But in her condition there'd be no judge in his right mind that would grant a divorce so my father would just be pulling a JFK.

[–] • 0 pt

dementia is terrible thing sorry to hear it honestly. there is no guidance beyond theyre vows til death. its a commitment but love is love

[–] • 0 pt

At this point and it's been like this probably for like most of their last 40 years they love each other but don't like each other. My father and my mom are like two Archie bunkers. They both just yell at each other and it's really really tiring to be around. It got so bad in my young thirties I actually cut off communications with them because I just couldn't handle their bickering.

[–] • 0 pt

i think your using your feels to much. if shes in a home and half remembers you i'd prep for end of life and not worry so much. he made a vow he should keep period its the honorable thing to do.