I am a culmination of bad choices. But sometimes good things happen which keeps me alive for a couple months longer. Then I have acquaintances that send me updates about themselves or people that we know and all the fun shit that they're doing and then I'm right back to where I was, all fucked up and nerve racked, thinking I'm wasting my life. I only have about eight good years left before it's prostate cancer, clubbed feet and badly graying hair and more than likely hereditary senility.
nah, you would be surprised how old you can get
Comparison is the thief of joy. It's why Facebook sucks so much.
It's not even Facebook. I use Facebook as a tool for groups. I don't really look at anybody life on it at all. Instagram is more or less the same thing. I use that as a tool for finding places to go for camping or getting ideas about stuff. What really rubs me in is when people will without solicitation are like "oh hey check out what Bill's doing". The past year I've been struggling a bit with finding purpose for myself and trying to figure out a way to not go nuclear and do something really stupid because I have a severe lack of ideas. There's things I want to do in life and there's things that I wanted to do, but would have consequences. I have an acquaintance that sent me as I wrote earlier some stuff about somebody else and the shit that they're doing which is something I would love to do but it's just not in the deck of cards mentally right now. But it really hurts to see that stuff because it's to me it's a rub in. Also there's nothing better than when people talk about an ex-girlfriend even when you tell them you're not interested. they rub that shit in your face. "oh did you hear that so and so is doing this"? I did go after the people who pulled that shit. Saying you know I didn't need to hear that, I don't care and I don't think it's fair you brought it up, please keep that stuff to yourself.
But again, you are right, I need to compare myself to what I can handle in life and build off of that and maybe I can salvage some moments and time that are different and agreeable and progressive.
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