There is a secret and little known technique. Take the can over to the trash when you are ready to open it, hold it directly above the trash can with your left hand. Open your hand rapidly dropping that can of disgusting shit into the trash and walk away. Problem solved :)

Open it up just a little bit and drink all of the juice out before you open the rest

Do it naked...

Open them over the sink and away from you.

At worst, lay a paper towel over the can and your hand as you open.

Have someone else open it for you.

Yep. And if you're asking this question you're too fucking stupid to deserve an answer.

I love anchovies.

Few pizza places even have them anymore.

Mmmmmm.... so salty.

Gallagher method. Get a giant sledgehammer and crush that thing. Wear a raincoat.

Don't be a fucking loser and the universe won't be against you.

There are several methods.

1. Don't have clumsy chimp hands, then open it slowly.

2. Get sardines like a man. You can get sardines in water, mustard or hot sauce. That stuff will still get on your clothes but they won't be ruined really. Who eats anchovies anyway?

3. Wear clothes that are already stained with other kinds of oil.