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We had a disagreement yesterday and now im wondering if we should break up. She dragged me to one of her friend's place, and this woman talked for a straight hour about herself, her past, her family, really it was more of a monologue where you act more like a viewer. She mentioned the whole Israel are the chosen, etc. So then I tried to drop some knowledge about some historical events, but then they and to an extent my gf both started insulting me about how i was too "book smart" and needed to be more street smart. This was weird to me, because never in my life have i ever been insulted for being too smart before. It then begs the question, how exactly is that a bad thing? They were essentially making fun of me for not knowing how to live on the streets of some dumpster shit hole liberal city, as if that's a bad thing ...

Anyways my gf said last night that i have all the qualities she was looking for, but she doesn't know if she can live with my social awkwardness. Really she wants someone who she never has to worry about or be embarrassed for, and she wants the relationship to never suffer or go through any hiccup of any kind. I ended up just leaving early yesterday, because to an extent this conversation and the one prior hurt pretty bad. Now I just feel really weird and don't really know what to do or how to feel today

We had a disagreement yesterday and now im wondering if we should break up. She dragged me to one of her friend's place, and this woman talked for a straight hour about herself, her past, her family, really it was more of a monologue where you act more like a viewer. She mentioned the whole Israel are the chosen, etc. So then I tried to drop some knowledge about some historical events, but then they and to an extent my gf both started insulting me about how i was too "book smart" and needed to be more street smart. This was weird to me, because never in my life have i ever been insulted for being too smart before. It then begs the question, how exactly is that a bad thing? They were essentially making fun of me for not knowing how to live on the streets of some dumpster shit hole liberal city, as if that's a bad thing ... Anyways my gf said last night that i have all the qualities she was looking for, but she doesn't know if she can live with my social awkwardness. Really she wants someone who she never has to worry about or be embarrassed for, and she wants the relationship to never suffer or go through any hiccup of any kind. I ended up just leaving early yesterday, because to an extent this conversation and the one prior hurt pretty bad. Now I just feel really weird and don't really know what to do or how to feel today

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[–] • 34 pts

Women do not want their problems to be solved, they want their problems to be heard.

[–] [deleted] • 6 pts

See that was my mistake right there, assuming they wanted an actual answer. Really, i should have let her rant and said nothing and i would have come out some kind of mystic saint instead

[–] • 4 pts (edited )

I've listened to many GFs bitch about problems at work, or problems with friends, and I offered then what I thought was really good, reasonable advice.

They don't want that shit.

They want you to listen, and say

That Rachel girl at work sounds awful. She should be fired. I can't believe she dresses like that. No wonder she's dating that loser, Simon.

[–] • 2 pts

Correct. Women are in competition, their version of war. They need you to take their side, always, no matter how unreasonable. Proving to them that you support them no matter what. Also, they are not required to always take your side, rules for thee not me.

[–] • 1 pt

It's very true that women don't want things fixed or answers to their questions/problems. It's also true that Men are fixers, problem solvers, and always try to have answers. This is important information that I would have liked to have had when I was very young! REMEMBER THAT, ANY OF YOU THAT ARE RAISING BOYS! I believe that the main thing you should take away from this experience is the fact that she made fun of you! That is a bigger deal breaker to me than any of the rest of it. Your woman should NEVER EVER make fun of you, especially around other people! If I were in your place I would walk for that reason alone. This shows that she has no respect for you. It is possible to gain respect from a woman but it could take Years of your life to do it! If you two had children she would be just as disrespectful to you in front of them, meaning that your children would grow up disrespecting you also! You might, just Might, eventually gain her respect, but you would never gain respect from your children.

[–] • 5 pts

Damnit. I needed to hear this at this exact moment. I'm currently going through something similar and this comment really calmed me down. Much appreciated, mate

[–] • 1 pt

Hope everything works out well for you and the "girl" you're with.

[–] • 2 pts

Thanks, mate. "Girl" made me laugh way harder than I should have. First I've spoke to you I believe, but it's nice to recognize everyone on POALs sarcasm from reading so many of the comments throughout the year

[–] • 4 pts

Because the problem isn't the problem, it's that she needs to process her emotions and she craves validation.

[–] • 2 pts

This should be a permanent heading on the front page and it’s universally true

[–] • 0 pt

I have given you wisdom.

Now give me a writing prompt.

[–] • 1 pt

First woman president your her chief advisor. Russia just hit the button.

[–] • 2 pts

Actually, they DO eventually want it solved.. but before that happens, they want to bitch/cry about it and be heard..they want to be held, coddled, listened to first and foremost.. if you let them do that and get all the tears or emotion out, then and only then should you bring up ideas to solve it.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

You are absolutely right on this one. That's why I begin every convo with my wife with do you want me to fix it or do you want me to listen? Usually stops her from ranting in the first place which is nice.