I started a new job at a well-established local company with a good rep. Came from another company that I had been at for 14 years in my industry. My job is important and it’s hard to find someone in my area that has the experience and qualifications— they gave me the job the day after my interview.

A couple months in, co-worker (aka “Roy”) called me out in front of the company on a conference call and lied telling everyone I don’t ever answer my phone or do my job. He was grossly exaggerating because I missed one call from him while I was on the phone with a vendor. It was embarrassing. And honestly I was upset about it, not enough to cry but enough to worry that everyone would believe him and that I would be fired as a result. I have some anxiety issues, and the devil makes your head go down bad roads of thought sometimes.

Most of the folks who were there assured me that he’s just an asshole and they apologized for his rude behavior. Everyone thinks I’m doing a great job. I prayed about it, and my only other role in resolving this was reinforcing and strengthening their pre-held notions of myself, Roy, and what happened. I also subtly suggested that highly critical assholes were the reason I left my last job, for which they had a hard time finding someone qualified. Roy has been friendly since then, but I often hear my coworkers complain about his personality/tendencies.

Inb4 “You should have hit him or confronted him.” If I hit him, I’d have likely been arrested. At the time, I didn’t know how many people would side with me if I confronted him. I’m the outsider, and outsiders are scrutinized, even if they are genuinely good folks.

Oddly enough, a few of us were talking and the topic of ancestry dna came up. Roy happens to have a lot of Ashkenazi Jewish dna.

Not a great story, but hell it answers the question.

I took them to a pig farm.