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[–] 10 pts

On a 1200 baud modem

[–] 9 pts

I don't do handshakes, I grab them by the jaw and stare in their eyes as I explain why that chimney wasn't connected to the building.

[–] 4 pts

I'd pay 6 million shekels to have a pack of poalers act as tour guides at the auschwitz theme park for a year.

[–] 4 pts

fucken A cotton... fucken a

[–] 3 pts

I’m still shaking his hand.

[–] 3 pts

I am sure it was wet.

[–] 1 pt

When I was a teenager, we used to try to crush each other's hands. Some of those bond-grinders lasted several minutes.

[–] 1 pt

I had a friend in high school that any time we met up, we'd shake hands and wouldn't let go for an entire conversation. The handshake could have easily been up to 5 minutes. No idea why we started doing it, but we both just kept doing handshakes that way.

[–] 1 pt

I've been shaking hands with the bishop for three decades now...

[–] 1 pt

At the bar i work at there is a guest who always shows up, he has some autistic tendencies mixed with asberger, i guess im the asshole. But i know he doesnt know when to stop shaking my hand when he greets me (he is a nice guy but rather awkward) so last time i wanted to test this out when he was leaving, quite tipsy indeed. I had to cut it short at 30 seconds.. I like him tho, so didnt have any ill intentions, guess i was bored.

[–] 1 pt

US Robotics 33.6K dialup

Then you achieved blazing fast speeds at 56k. That sound will be imprinted on my auditory memory for ever.

[–] 1 pt

When was the last time I even shook a hand?

Only a gimmick hand shake would have been the longest. 10-15 seconds?

That time down in South America when my old pal Dutch said "You sonofabitch!" and then we arm-wrestled during the handshake. Unfortunately, I was killed later by an alien in light-bending armor who blew off my arm with his shoulder-mounted laser just as I started to fire my SMG. But the arm with the SMG kept firing it! That was quite a scene... uh... in my life!

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