Well I'll tell ya. If any of this is true I suggest you make peace with yourself and who your are and have become as the result of parents that struggled to be parents. I'd also suggest accept your parents for who they are- most likely they did not have good examples or guidance from parents or the adults around them.
Life gets easier and happier when you let go and allow yourself to live your life and be happy.
I more or less have made peace with how things have gone in my life. It's a little tricky when I go back home and I'm surrounded by rich money men because they're all layered up with shiny new shit. look at this, look at my bling bling bling. I'm like well I had a good campsite a couple nights ago, heard some coyotes and played my hermanica a little bit. They look at me mouth open like who the fuck are you. My parents did what they could. their parents were shitty assholes so it just goes down-the-line. no one's perfect I know that but when you're a kid you don't know why you're getting thrown down a flight of stairs for just horsing around with your brother. makes things a little trickier to try to love somebody after picking up your face off the floor. My father was smart though, he just worked the body, never blows to the face you. Gues he learned that from his dad.
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