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In terms of dating someone, is it better to wait it out for years, or just propose and ask after a few months? ive been asking my pastors, and they all mentioned time doesn't really matter, and some of the best marriages were ones where the dating window was super short ( up to 6 months). so then, seeing as ive been dating my girl for a few months, part of me wonders if proposing now is any worst than waiting it out until later? not sure what the pros and cons are, except for the eternal jew telling everyone dont get married, dont have kids, dont settle down, sleep around with a bunch of people, etc, etc

In terms of dating someone, is it better to wait it out for years, or just propose and ask after a few months? ive been asking my pastors, and they all mentioned time doesn't really matter, and some of the best marriages were ones where the dating window was super short ( up to 6 months). so then, seeing as ive been dating my girl for a few months, part of me wonders if proposing now is any worst than waiting it out until later? not sure what the pros and cons are, except for the eternal jew telling everyone dont get married, dont have kids, dont settle down, sleep around with a bunch of people, etc, etc

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[–] [deleted] • 11 pts

Just my opinion, but if you have to ask, it's not time. Decades of experience.

[–] • 4 pts (edited )

This is the correct answer. It's not helpful to OP but when you meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with "you just know". So if you're not feeling it then it's a strong indication that either the person or the time is not right.

'Course it's important that the other person feel the same. If you propose and she says Yes but isn't sure to her core then the prospects for a long, strong relationship are not good.

There's a reason why marriage is a 'sacred vow before God'. It's a commitment that both parties are entering in to for the rest of their lives. Since most of us are no longer religious the notion now seems antiquated and corny, but the implicit meaning is the same regardless. This is the main reasons why living together before marriage does not guarantee that the married will work out. It's the opposite in fact, because living together lacks the commitment that marriage implies. If you can just pack you shit and move out when times get tough then what incentive do you have to stick it out and make the relationship stronger?

[–] • 4 pts

If you believe she will make a good mother to your children and you actually love her then the time is right. Waiting years to get married means less years of fertility and a smaller family. I wish I had kids sooner.

[–] • 2 pts

For men these days? I think about 30. For women? 25-27. Women younger than 25 are, for the most part, complete idiots (not all, certainly, but most). Men at 30 aren't much smarter (still pretty young), but they learn fast and still have the physical ability to keep up with their kids as they grow up. Also, waiting until 30 gives men a good shot at putting together a successful career and getting to a financially stable place to support a family.

[–] • 2 pts

Have you talked about having kids, how many and when you both want them? That should be a first or second date question. If the answer is something like "Maybe a few years off", then why rush proposing and getting married? When you are both ready to have kids, you'll know it, and that's the time you should propose.

[–] • 2 pts

Do a background check, what's her credit score, is she a previous offender, does she have an intact parental situation, does she get along with her siblings, what are her friends like, if Christian does she know what the trinity is and what the triune God is? Is she familiar with 13/59, how does she feel about alphabet street? Does she know about the satanic cult running things, khazariyan mafia, the degenerate entertainment industry, etc? The injection?

If you have the answers to these questions and more, then you might be good to go.

[–] • 2 pts

I would say those are just minimum basic requirements.

I would personally trace her bloodlines and look for any unsettled generational debts or unforgivable sins within her family tree. Perhaps her friends or friends of friends may have an infraction that went unchecked.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

if Christian

That's the first question. Why marry an unbeliever? Talk about heartache.

[–] • 0 pt

She might be open to believing or is a lost soul that needs sheparding.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

That is a recipe for disaster. At the very least, no sex or proposal before salvation and some serious sanctification.

[–] • 1 pt

I think that living together for a few months is mandatory before a marriage. You don't really know a person until you live with them.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Would it surprise you to learn that marriage success rates are lower amongst those who lived together first?

[–] • 0 pt

If you mean that by them deciding not to marry after living together for a while, then no it wouldn't surprise me.

If you mean that by saying that they would divorce later in life, then I would say it's exactly the opposite of what I have witnessed.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

So it would surprise you! I'll track down the research.

It kinda seems like you would be surprised to learn that your anecdotal experience doesn't translate to the bigger picture. Weird.

[–] • 1 pt

I disagree. Moving in with men causes them to avoid commitment because you're already playing house together.

[–] • 0 pt

This is exactly why I'm recommending it. If a man started to act that way it would mean he is very immature, and not ready to commit. It's also likely he wasn't aware of this himself and would only find it out after marriage. Many such cases.

[–] • 0 pt

Moving is expensive, monetarily and in time. It's also mentally traumatizing to some degree. I was depressed this move even though my last place sucked in every way imaginable. It felt like leaving home.

[–] • 1 pt

The clock didn't start when you met her. It started when you lost your first love. Your judgment comes from your experience, not your experience with her. I married slowly the first time and quickly the second, and the second now exceeds my time with the first and is still winning.

[–] • 0 pt

Biggest con is that you risk half your shit with no benefit.

[–] • 0 pt

I have my own law: Don’t proceed to kneel until two years of living with them

I won’t date them if: They smoke Have kids Have visible tattoos Are woke Come from a broken home Have gotten the clot shot Buy all the bullshit in this world Any flag of gold digging and/or divorce rape on the horizon

I have a tall list, but I’ve worked hard enough to have that list

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I will echo what others have said, you want to use caution. It is very costly in time and money to get divorced. If you know for sure then you know for sure, if not it's better to do your homework, talk to experienced married people, etc.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Before you die. You've always been a good neighbor. Go w. god my son.

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