Lately I have been behaving like a winner. By that I mean fully recharged after 6-7 hours sleep at night and waking up without an alarm, no drugs not even caffeine. Lean meats, eggs, fruit/vegetable juice, put in 15 minutes to a hour extra at work almost daily, putting in real effort at work, lifting, hitting the punching bag, walking, kayaking, bicycling, 2x almost daily. Getting home improvement projects done. Just generally working on improving myself so that maybe one of these days I can get a woman to agree to sexual intercorse with me. But the yang to the yin that is this excellence keeps nagging at me. For me that yang is DRUGS!! In particular weed. Weed honestly has so far made me a better person. It got me off my ass by cleaning my apartment, organizing things, taking on new projects that I would have never thought to try, and it allowed me to see in new ways so I could see where my life was going. But when I get weed I tend to smoke it all right away. I am 100% agnostic but I do pray because if there is some kind of higher power I think it makes sense to try and be in touch with it. But if I'm wrong oh well. I am even honest when I pray and am like "I know you might not even be real" (etc.) because the God I pray to cares about objective reality. But one phrase from the Bible I have been thinking of is "though shall have no other gods before me" and if, for lack of a better word "excellence" is my God I feel like sometimes when I let the yang off its chain I am putting the weed God ahead of the excellence God. My fucking awesome vaporizer even looks like an idol. Getting high feels like I am at the alter of a false God and lately I have actually been getting less done while high than by just being an alpha male. In case you didn't know contrary to popular belief weed can actually ha e the opposite effect of putting you into a coma on the couch playing video games. For me anyways I'm like how I heard women are after sex (cleaning, baking, learning to weld, etc.) Except I get tired of being excellent. To me flying is conquering personal weakness and weed makes me weaker but I still find it hard to give up or control. Has anyone here achieved David Goggins level excellence? How did you give up your weaknesses? Is giving up your weakness foolish as the notion of yin and yang might suggest? If so how do you keep your arms from getting tired while holding your demons from a leash?