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298

Lately I have been behaving like a winner. By that I mean fully recharged after 6-7 hours sleep at night and waking up without an alarm, no drugs not even caffeine. Lean meats, eggs, fruit/vegetable juice, put in 15 minutes to a hour extra at work almost daily, putting in real effort at work, lifting, hitting the punching bag, walking, kayaking, bicycling, 2x almost daily. Getting home improvement projects done. Just generally working on improving myself so that maybe one of these days I can get a woman to agree to sexual intercorse with me.

But the yang to the yin that is this excellence keeps nagging at me. For me that yang is DRUGS!! In particular weed. Weed honestly has so far made me a better person. It got me off my ass by cleaning my apartment, organizing things, taking on new projects that I would have never thought to try, and it allowed me to see in new ways so I could see where my life was going. But when I get weed I tend to smoke it all right away.

I am 100% agnostic but I do pray because if there is some kind of higher power I think it makes sense to try and be in touch with it. But if I'm wrong oh well. I am even honest when I pray and am like "I know you might not even be real" (etc.) because the God I pray to cares about objective reality.

But one phrase from the Bible I have been thinking of is "though shall have no other gods before me" and if, for lack of a better word "excellence" is my God I feel like sometimes when I let the yang off its chain I am putting the weed God ahead of the excellence God. My fucking awesome vaporizer even looks like an idol. Getting high feels like I am at the alter of a false God and lately I have actually been getting less done while high than by just being an alpha male. In case you didn't know contrary to popular belief weed can actually ha e the opposite effect of putting you into a coma on the couch playing video games. For me anyways I'm like how I heard women are after sex (cleaning, baking, learning to weld, etc.)

Except I get tired of being excellent. To me flying is conquering personal weakness and weed makes me weaker but I still find it hard to give up or control.

Has anyone here achieved David Goggins level excellence? How did you give up your weaknesses? Is giving up your weakness foolish as the notion of yin and yang might suggest? If so how do you keep your arms from getting tired while holding your demons from a leash?

Lately I have been behaving like a winner. By that I mean fully recharged after 6-7 hours sleep at night and waking up without an alarm, no drugs not even caffeine. Lean meats, eggs, fruit/vegetable juice, put in 15 minutes to a hour extra at work almost daily, putting in real effort at work, lifting, hitting the punching bag, walking, kayaking, bicycling, 2x almost daily. Getting home improvement projects done. Just generally working on improving myself so that maybe one of these days I can get a woman to agree to sexual intercorse with me. But the yang to the yin that is this excellence keeps nagging at me. For me that yang is DRUGS!! In particular weed. Weed honestly has so far made me a better person. It got me off my ass by cleaning my apartment, organizing things, taking on new projects that I would have never thought to try, and it allowed me to see in new ways so I could see where my life was going. But when I get weed I tend to smoke it all right away. I am 100% agnostic but I do pray because if there is some kind of higher power I think it makes sense to try and be in touch with it. But if I'm wrong oh well. I am even honest when I pray and am like "I know you might not even be real" (etc.) because the God I pray to cares about objective reality. But one phrase from the Bible I have been thinking of is "though shall have no other gods before me" and if, for lack of a better word "excellence" is my God I feel like sometimes when I let the yang off its chain I am putting the weed God ahead of the excellence God. My fucking awesome vaporizer even looks like an idol. Getting high feels like I am at the alter of a false God and lately I have actually been getting less done while high than by just being an alpha male. In case you didn't know contrary to popular belief weed can actually ha e the opposite effect of putting you into a coma on the couch playing video games. For me anyways I'm like how I heard women are after sex (cleaning, baking, learning to weld, etc.) Except I get tired of being excellent. To me flying is conquering personal weakness and weed makes me weaker but I still find it hard to give up or control. Has anyone here achieved David Goggins level excellence? How did you give up your weaknesses? Is giving up your weakness foolish as the notion of yin and yang might suggest? If so how do you keep your arms from getting tired while holding your demons from a leash?

(post is archived)

[–] • 6 pts

No True and Just God would create a Universe with posts this gay, so don't worry about him existing.

[–] • 2 pts

Hey, you're back! Good.

[–] • 2 pts

Yeah, just went on one of my gay little existential freakouts

[–] • 1 pt

You win the internet today ! Congratulations !

[–] • 5 pts

It's very likely that this is one of the most pathetic things I have read on the internet so far.

Just stop smoking weed, it's simple as that, and stop calling yourself "alpha male" for doing things that normal, functional people do.

[–] • 2 pts

Alpha male here, I just got back from the hardware store

[–] • 0 pt

Excellent, what did you get?

[–] • 2 pts

wire

[–] • 0 pt

Oh bullshit. For one if normal functional people did these things everyone would be as physically fit as me which they definitely are not. Few people put in the amount of overtime I do. ....etc. not gonna go down the list.

Also I absolutely do not care what you think is pathetic and I'm gonna go right ahead and call myself alpha because I know I put in the work.

Always people like you who want to bring others down.

[–] • 3 pts

That’s called a true sativa… you can greatly affect your day with the strain of weed, most everything these days is massively cross bred back and forth all Willy nilly without tracibility more than a few generations. A land race sativa will be very much mental, very much energizing and not couch lock. That’s original indica stuff. Afghani tends to be more like indica. Now, there have been crazy crosses going in every different direction and one cannot really tell anymore unless you went to the jungles of Vietnam or the rural mountains of Mexico to find seeds. I have seen the whole range. You are just using this drug as a crutch to do things, and while positive, you are dependent on it to help or you end up lazy.

[–] • 2 pts

It’s kind of hard to keep motivated when it’s been 6 months or more and you’re dick is still dry.

[–] • 2 pts

I almost upvoted this, but...'your'

[–] • 1 pt

Weed is for niggers and taconiggers. Your best self needs to be sober at all times.

[–] • 0 pt

You'll always have weakness.

I'm doing the same. I'm building my freelancing job into a company. I've been crazy productive lately. Picked up more and more clients the past few days for not just me but the people I want to start to employ (friends and family).

My main weak spot is my roommate. When I want to fast for 24 hours, she will order in chicken nuggets to tempt me with. When I try to get her to come to a workout class with me, she makes up BS excuses as to why she doesn't want to go. When I try to get her to come on the daily walk with me and my dog, she skips half the time so I have to take her dog AND my dog which is always more uncomfortable for me.

I'm trying to fight that blockage and try to be a little more independent from her when I try to make plans or do things for myself. We have a pretty unhealthy relationship that's been influencing a lot of decisions i make.

[–] • 0 pt

Nobody can change you, thats on you. When something becomes clear and you see the problem, then you know you have to deal with it. Set goals and do it..if you fail at first...do it over til you get it right. Thats all