The New Testament word for love always means action. So you can exercise 'love' towards someone without liking them. Sounds like what you're lacking is affection, I had none for my dad cause we weren't close. Was closer to my mom but we didn't really have a relationship either. When they passed, it didn't bother me like I thought it would. One thing I tell my kids, we will be missed when we die in proportion to how relevant we were in people's lives. If people aren't really in our lives now we won't miss them much.