Literally everything you just said raised a red flag.
Losing 5 pounds a week is not great. And it's not a diet, wet or dry. It's suicide.
In the end, you will do what you do, but you're heading into the darkness. That voice that says you should feel guilty... that starvation is salvation... yeah, it's trying to kill you. I mean that as literally as is humanly possible. Fuck that voice.
Your church intervened for a reason.
It's time to talk to someone - and not some random idiot on a forum. Please, go talk to someone.
(post is archived)